Carpe Diem!

what i think

2010-04-28T05:44:00.000-07:00

in other words:
FACEBOOK status quotes

Audrey Updated her status @ 8.54pm
"if i had a chance to yell out, i would. I miss you!"

Audrey updates her status @ 8.56pm
"i'm this close to reactivating you...why do you have to be so fun?!"

Audrey updates her status@ 9.19pm
" freaking out. what should i say? I'm over...dead meat"

Audrey updates her status@9.45pm
" i miss hearing your voice....I <3 you Piglet!!"

Audrey updates her status@ 10.04pm
"WHERE DID ALL THE LOLLIES GO?!"

Audrey updates her status @ 10.26pm
"Wild at heart. Decided to bring some good news to someone:)) "

ps8;11:5

2010-01-17T16:39:00.000-08:00

it's been ages since i've written anything here. people have asked me to continue writing. And i think i will.

It's definitely been a tiresome and gruelling journey for me,these couple of months. But as i write these notes, i feel rejuvenated beyond anything. As I was just spending time in God's presence( although sometimes, i don't know if He's there), i stumbled upon 2 verses in Psalms.

Psalms 8 talks about asking God for child-like faith. Do you know how difficult it is to attain that?Try putting yourself in a child's shoes- not knowing what tomorrow brings, not knowing what's going to be your next step....can you do it?. I've realised that being 21 comes with the urge to necessity to know everything that's gg to happen to you. "LEAD ME, I LAY ME DOWN" say it. only when you've really given up this urge, this need, will the barrier be brought down. i'm not gg to say it's easy, but after reading this, i've surrender everything to God. My supp, My skin, My new journey....it all becomes, His supp, His Skin, His journey with me. I'm not worried. I'm in peace

then comes
Psalms 11.this chapter highlights God's unwavering hand over [any]panic. You really have to give up[ not life, but your knowledge] and let God take control. "In the Lord, I take refuge"...as the verses move on, the psalmist talks about God observing men, and examining them. In v5, he mentions "The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked and those who love violence his soul hates"....don't get it? According to a reference, God doesn't just preserve the believers from difficult circumstances but he test both the righteous and wicked. He's talking about me. Sometimes i'd wonder and ask God, WHY ME?....or as my mother would say "Why my baby Lord?Has she not been for you all her life?"....it hurts me when she says that. not in an- i hate you-kind hurt, but don't-cry-mummy-kinda hurt.

For some, my journey would have killed them. mentally, spiritually. A BFF of mine once told me, she wonders where i get the strength to move on? honestly, if u've seen me, i look like spots on a leopard...where i get the strength to do the things i need to, do wear sleeveless and shorts?....when i look at my old pictures[ the prettier audrey],i'd cry...and hit myself in the heart. Hate myself for a couple of seconds. Blame ME for this "curse"....

......... silent.

then...

someone tapping on the door of my heart.

" May I come in?"

"Anytime God, you're always welcome here:)"

as God walks into my life [again, after such a long while], i' m assured, I KNOW FOR SURE, that It won't be before long, that i'll see The works He's set out for me.

His everlasting Love was always there. I had to open my heart and my eyes BIGGER..... HOSANNA!

<3

the heart was never broken.

2009-05-24T22:41:00.000-07:00

i'm still learning to not lean on my strength, but someone who's Greater than any in the world. it's kinda difficult coz we're so used to the " depend" on ourselves. we're self-sufficient human beings- not realising that we started our humble beginnings by He giving everything to us, even His own life.

There've been times where my skin just itches and i would blame myself for not being a good daughter, and it'll be a punishment clause. how silly is that?? anyways, i finally seeked professional help. the poly gave me a month's delay. i think God was really on our side, coz when ruth and i went to the national skin centre, the Lady at the reception gave me an appointment the next day! AMEN!Praise God.

i've learnt somethings over these couple of days/weeks that no matter the outcome, that i'll continue to praise and thank my father, for no one knows my future, but I know that He knows my future and hold my hand, walk with me, every step of the way.

another stepping stone of my life is coming soon. some of u know it. others may not understand, nevertheless, do me a favour. keep me in prayer, k:) thanks.

thank you for the constant thoughts and words of encouragement, bff .i wouldn't have managed to get where i, mentally, am today, without you:)

thanks comms team, for always supporting my ideas. Let's continue to bloom and be creative for God!

loves,
Audrey.

never good enough.

2009-04-07T04:42:00.000-07:00

so...today was suppose to be the best day of my life....but as usual, i always had to find something to make the "worst" day of my life.

it was graduation. spending time with your friends, classmates. leaving behind all the grudges and just enjoying the moments lost and gained. taking photos to last a lifetime.

yes, as the names of the distinction was being "concluded" out, i was beginning to feel the pinch. the hard pinch of truth, that reminded me that i wasn't the best. i was never good enough. too good to be true right? always the bridesmaid, never the bride. kinda reminded me of myself.

PL's motto, then came into mind. Look up and Lift Up.

simply put.
I am looking up( to Him) and lifting up( all my needs and desires to Him).

see where it goes from here.

my uphill mountain.......

2009-03-03T18:39:00.000-08:00

it's been like a month( feels like months) since someone called me for an interview. I'm beginning to feel like a useless bum-with no purpose. and with stories like the NTU-suicide, it got me thinking

WHEN IS THIS EVER GOING TO END?

i mean, how long more God, before the world crumbles? Crumbles to the work of the evil one? I don't wanna "bow down" to him. he's not worth anything. as i was sitting in my shower, i couldn't help it. it's been a month and more, since i've cried( the last time tears poured down was on my birthday) and just today. it happened. I cried- pouring all my fears and iniquities to the ONLY ONE who can save me. I was tired and worried,that- thanks to the merril/lynch "hoedown"- i will never have God's promises fulfilled in my life. I don't want to be those people who are needy to God,when times are bad. I want to remember and be with Him, both ways.

I was reading Isaiah 4-5. Kinda opened my eyes to a whole new thinking. I mean, I thought when randomly picked these verses, that there were gg to be words of encouragement. but as i read on, i realised that God was teaching the house of Isreal a lesson- that if they don't wake up, WOE and JUDGEMENT is gg to befall upon them.

And it aien't pretty.

however, along the horror and pain, there was tinge of hope.
Isaish 4:6
" It will be a shelter and shade from the heat of the day, and a refuge and hiding place form the storm and rain...."

I tot i was in this for the long haul- alone, and empty. But i spotted this amidst all the choas, of the Chpt 5, i realised that the Branch of the Lord, has always extended towards me. sometimes, when it rains, it pours. but i'm always warm and never wet. His glory is my canopy of hope and dreams to come. I'm never alone. Thank You Lord.

So, i know these couple of days is definitely gg to be a "uphill mountain" but if i have faith like a mustard seed, I can look to that mountain and say MOVE, and it will MOVE.

thanks to everyone who's been by my side:

Mum
Dad
Mandy
Ruth!
Glenn BFF
Sumo!
Rachel Jie
Renae
Dwight
Lester<3
and some other names......

thanks for all your support and love. i couldn't have gotten through the weeks without u guys!:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz5sOPj_0_U

it's alright,
He's on my side....
and He knows my every need.

9 ways to tell if someone loves and respects you.

2009-02-09T18:11:00.000-08:00

What are the ways to tell if someone loves and respects you? In no particular order here is my list of ways to tell someone is into you. Some are obvious, some you may not have thought about…

They listen to your point of view, even if they don’t agree with it.
If he goes out of his way to do things for you or learn about you than he is probably falling for you.
If they learn your favorites and surprise you with them out of the blue, you are in luck.
They laugh with you when you are a knucklehead, because they can of course.
And share your sadness with you when you are hurt, because they care.
Want to be close to you for no reason and make plans to be with you.
When you get a call you first thing in the morning from them when you know they’re not a morning person.
If they let you know that you are the first person they think about when they are lonely, that is a pretty good sign that they love and adore you.
If they start taking better care of themselves because they are around you, that is a definite sign that they have been stricken by the love bug

http://shortsweetlovepoem.com/

I am so tired!

2009-02-07T06:30:00.000-08:00

How can you hate someone whom you love so dearly. I mean it's so impossible to the brink of wanting to actually yell at the top of your lungs...splurs of hurtful and mean things like" Wake up, you're not a kid anymore!" Or " When are you ever gg to change??"...okok, i know these are not "hurtful" remarks,but hey, it could get worse.......oooh, i'm just so burning up! i mean, how dare you*sneers*my blood is actually boiling....

it's definitely been awhile since i've written here.. and it's been dry-my life. U know, i'd remeber the days, where there was a chase in my life. it may not neccessarily be because of someone, but there was a drive, and momentum of things going; not so much a routine but a flow.

Now?
it's just a mundane pot. it's always half empty. right now, i'm just waiting for God to pour down His Spirit into this vast emptiness on- what i call- my life.

I just want Him. No one else.
None but Jesus.

I'm tired of all the lies, all the betrayal and all the anxiety. I'm just tired of it. I just wanna live for one person. and that's my heavenly Father. He's the only that matters. even when everyone seems to be against me or trying to pull me down, I know that He's rooting for me, and lifting me above all this mud-pit-of troubles.

A day without You

2009-01-28T19:41:00.000-08:00

It's going to be difficult ride
Without you
always by my side
How can I
Not see your eyes,
Hear your voice,
Feel your touch?

Today will be the first,
I hope not for days to come,
'Cause without you,
I might cease to exist

Please come back,
Hold me, and tell me that I'm loved
Call me back......

Phone.

wow! another year ahead...

2009-01-12T20:40:00.000-08:00

it seems it's another year ahead...and it's scary the *crap* out of me... there's so many things happening, that i'm trying to spin around my head-tightly-due to the lack of space.

so like there was my birthday--the best part, i'm still receiving a couple gifts here and there....* i just got one from a fren, he's like an author, he gave me his book..first edition!!that's so cool lar!!*well in some ways, i'm glad i've turned a year older. It truly makes me appreciate life better- like i'm thinking twice about leaving the country, and thinking more about staying at home for the next phase of my life. I'm also thinking about things that concerns a grown-up person's career and future prospects* all you tall-handsome-decent boys...gimme a call...i'm not kidding...* ah, you know i'm. hahaha....

here's my list of "Things to Come"

1. Feb-Mar: University application
2. Feb-June: TNG-ministry
3. Feb- Dec: Tutoring
4. Jul-Aug: University admission

another thing,
i wanna talk about all those freaking-crazy celebrities..who have children and treat marriage as if it's nothing. i mean, i guess, it's sad that kids are born-out-of wedlock...and yet, these westerners treat it as if it's part of THEIR daily life....i mean "partners" are giving kids life- good lives, and i thank them,but have you wondered what happends if you & ur "partner" seperates? who does the child have??
and if you were to find another "partner", the child is bound to get confuse....questions like "are you my daddy?" or " why is mummy not with you....???"....and then, you'll have yourselves to blame when she comes out like JLSs:(* no offence hun:)
the beauty and grace of marriage, is how the couple works hard to finish what they've started- a life together. i'm not saying that it's the easiest road, but which path in life is? I wish all married couples* Fergie and Josh!!* a happy married life, that they'll know what it means " better or for worse....till death,"when you truly understand and sacrifice for one another, you'll know, it's not just another mistake….

Christmas with the Ricks...& New Year's

2009-01-01T18:43:00.000-08:00

I've always thought the movie" Christmas with the Kranks" to be a funny and whole-hearted movie.....

my whole theme for christmas was " Receive nothing, expect alot" not many may understand this concept, but for Ruth and I, we sure do...it's a concept whereby your heart is always filled with loves and joy, coz when u expect alot and have no intention of receive, you heart will always be filled with the hope and love for those you truly care about. i guess when u've fully-endowed yourself with this thought..........you'll get it.

somehow.

so christmas this year, was filled my friends(& of course, amanda's friends)it was more of a last minute thing, coz school ended pretty late this year, so i was short of 15 days of christmas prep...nevertheless, everything turned out fine and peaeful.

if there's one thing i've learnt from all this, is that nothing can take your happiness away, except the one in you. If you learn to take every setback,roll it up into a ball and toss it out the window, it makes living a much easier space...hahaha....

so for the new year's, i've learnt to give and take. i can't always have things my way. I just pray and hope that whatever my heart sets on, it's according to His will, & His will only.

so take this new year and share with everyone, and anyone you care for.

and tell them how much you love and appreciate them. 3 simple words people,
- ILOVEYOU.

Happy New Year and God Bless!!

stuck in a rut

2008-12-29T06:36:00.000-08:00

how do u let go of the past, when it's sitting right next to you, with those puppy-eyes and juicy-candy talks?

it's going to be an interesting ride. God Help!

FYP's over....

2008-12-03T17:16:00.000-08:00

finally, it's over. no more late nights at the labs. no more arguing over result-interpretation etc....and now the question: do i have the urge to do classwork??

ahahha....FYP was a crazy week..and the worst, was the presentation...repeating it five times( jeremy doesn't count...hahaha) was a real-let me quote from a wise man-"MANKILLER"hahaha after which, i think i had a slight sore-throat. hahahah

i wanna thank my team for the award(sounds like the OSCARS...oooh, wrong channel...hahaha)....dotz..

i wanna thank my team for the countless struggles we shared. The late-gruelling nights-where we all went crazy...those wacky games playing with the ethanol and water squirts or any of the equipment we could grabs our hands on...heehehe....making fun of TSOs...endless hours interpreting results and doing lab.....ah!
just wanna say....
nina: i'm gg to miss all those nail-painting, movie-watching times....
randy:erm,hahaha...gonna miss you "tekan-ing" people..Good times buddy!thanks for all-bus rides together....
Bridget: i'm gg to miss our "dumb-dumb" times together& late night Mac's eat out...loves
Chris: thanks for the extra knowledge buddy...

and most of all, thanks to the best &cooolest PIs around, Chowdhury and Jeremy Kong...we couldn't have asked for a better facilitators in the whole wide world. You guys RAWK!You've really made an impact in our(mine especially) lives, helping make our future decisions, allowing us to make mistakes and most importantly, learning from them....i think i've learned more in the FYP than in the modules i've take for Yr3. I'm truly going to miss U both....*tears*I'm definitely going to miss all the jokes, the dinners and those quirky "arguements" we had...( or rather, Chow + Christopher had)

memories here!

martial art: "Kick-FYP" by randy
shopping afterwards....
love yea dear!
CAM-tech day w nina:))
view from the top

ps. hey guys, if u have any pics of our FYP-do send me kays:))

Things I want....

2008-11-20T04:48:00.000-08:00

Things I want in a date:

To be able to pick me up
Bring me to a nice place for tea/dinner
To be able to hold a proper conversation & make me LOL
Have fun, not afraid of making a fool of himself...
Have a good appetite:)) Ilurrvvvee
An astute gentleman.

Things I want in a Boyfriend/Husband:

Must be a Christian( this never changes!!)
Must be able to meet my parents & hold a conversation with them( Mum and Dad must say yes:) )
Have a good walk with God; in a ministry and cell group
Must have a degree
Enjoy the outdoors and love trying out new things
Good relationship with his parents/family
Opinionated and receptive to others' opinions....
Taller than me
Driving license
Love me- for me:) ( all the quirks, funny antics and weirdness)
Different race( colourful family descent...just like me:))

p.s short enough for yea, piglet??

a big CHANGE

2008-11-06T05:55:00.000-08:00

so we've been hearing about change. lots and lots of CHANGE.

first, America had a change...more like a change of heart. There's the NEW! President-elect, Barrack Obama:)I think he's a sign of many things to come. hopefully, he can turn all these chaos around...and bring back America to its former glory:) as i was talking to a couple of my friends, i think what America needs is a SOCIAL change. That's right, a social change. i mean, look at it. there are so many people living below the poverty line, and yet, they're not getting all the help they need. when you say you're from a developed country, that doesn't equate the RICH people,only. NO! it's everyone. make sure that your students finish with a diploma!....another thing!: stop paying your credit card bills with another credit card! It's stupid and irresponsible.

Second change: I think this one is more personal. It's a point in my life, where I have to make the busiest and hardest decision of all. the scary concept called MY FUTURE". it's supposedly to be just about me- but as a wise man says, "..no man is an island" i mean there are so many questions running through my head; where should i go? should i take a bonded-scholarship? should i work first or study first?AH! sometimes, i just wanna scream! REALLY SCREAM!

well it seems that there's a lot happening for me( or against me?). i may not know the plans that He has for me. but I'm sure gonna live in faith that He's already done all the applications, set my lodging, and made my path easier. I know there's gonna be a lot of temptations and struggle. I also know that the strength in me, is not mine. It's His. Thank You, God:)

p.s i'm refining my list. it'll be up soon:P

sorry for the inconvenience

2008-10-29T06:34:00.000-07:00

a letter to a close friend.

dearest dear, i think it's high-and-mighty time you hear this. i was really considering whether i should even be writing this. but i guess it doesn't just go out to you, but to me also. i'm a very straight-forward kinda person. don't like to beat-round-the bush. sometimes my forwardness can be mistaken as a "dislike"....but i guess, the world's not perfect, and so are the inhabitants. what i am trying to say is that- you must understand that things aren't always the way it seems. i've learnt that now. i bet you have too. again, all of us see the world with a different spyglass. But that's the beauty of it. everything and everyone is different. Unique in culture, in thoughts, in speech. So when i convey a message of something different- something traditional, don't fret. yes, i maybe modern with certain concepts. but if you've known me long enough, you'll understand that i am the old and the new fused into one. i have the sense of the future, along with the values and traditions. That makes me-ME. and no one can change that. don't just say " i understand who you are" , accept it. believe in me, like how i believe in you. in the beauty of God creating someone so special and unique as you. Friends are people, living 2 separate lives, with no pressure in between. they care about each other from a distant, and wish with all their hearts that their friends are happy. Somewhat i don't think that we're that kind of "friends". in fact, i think we're more that just- JUST Friends, which in my opinion, is kinda scary. i don't know why, but sometimes, i fear talking to you- why? coz we're always arguing about opinions and values-which of course, differs on the other side of the line. and that makes me annoyed and uncomfortable. when i call someone, i want it to be peaceful and joyous. i tend to confront people-FACE TO FACE. at some point, i feel as if it's my fault- coz at some degree, your opinion actually means something to me......i'm torn between listening and not listening. i'm leaning towards the latter. you must understand, what happened happened. it will and can never happended again...i guess sometimes we bring a bit of history into this friendship and it can't be helped. But i hope you can understand that you're not the only one in my life. there are others i care about. when you say that "....i don't care about others..", " ...you're always doing it to me...."- it makes me feel worse that i already do( although i guess that's part of the plan). it maybe jokingly, but i know you mean it. and i'm sorry if i've hurt you in any other way. so let's put the past behind us, and start afresh. Just like the beginning- no string attached. Clean slate.

xoxo
A

something over the weekend

2008-10-19T17:15:00.000-07:00

well, the weekend's over and the week is just about to begin!...aha!!it was a normal weekend, dad was away on business.( he came back this morning...miss u DAD!)...so just left the 3 girls at home...nothing out of the ordinary...so went to market, bought stuff, went to see the Doc- mum wasn't feeling too well....then went shopping for awhile-erm, at festival market- hahaha, what a shopping. * amanda said something interesting- "u DON'T like shopping? r u serious, like real!* i mean people who know me, know that i don't really like shopping- unless i really have to buy something, then i'll go to town and get it. if not, just hang at home. i rather cook and eat, then go walking-shopping.

really missed my dad, that the whole family( well just teh 3 of us)did nothing. i realise that without my dad,there's nothing we can do.....all we did, cook dinner and watched(borrowed) DVD, IRONMAN. hahha nice man, i think Robert Downey Jr, is rather cute, queer...in his own way.hahah

then came sunday. now, i;m glad, coz it just a day, spent w my friends and of course, my BIG Daddy!really missed Him( never lost Him at all...hehehe)then,Toa Payoh MC came, played and preached...it was really an interesting sermon. so after that, had lunch w Vania and Reagan( so sad, never take photo....next time must take a shot, kays?)so it was rather good,a good sense of fellowship...heehee...now this is where it gets interesting...just spend time with people I haven't spend in a long while....good luck Girls and Boys, for your O's...u'll do fine.God Bless! so there was me and Jll, and as usual, there was some sense of flirting gg around...yea, as usual.

i don't know what's gg on. i m not confused, but just deciding......

the girl who can't be tamed....

2008-10-06T05:15:00.000-07:00

i was having dinner with my family last night, and i didn't realised how nasty and mean i was being.though it was funny, still, i was rambling on- tekan- people here and there."....oh she's uber blur...u know there was one time...." or ".....he's abit on hearing, he can't even tell which side of the handphone is up...."..to the point,my parents were shocked, that they had to speak louder than me, just to drown insensitive remarks on people, especially elders at the table...wow, i didn't know how much the world and all its " it's a tough world- only the tough and mean survive here"....and it just dawned to be that the movie,above, was about how lindsay lohan's character surviving high school....SURVIVOR!!HIGH SCHOOL....imagine, having that as a survivor location...*day dreaming*...

and so, i've realised how much i've changed. my values and believes(hopefully) have not changed, but ME- the behaviour, mannerism, ettiquttte people see, has changed. i don't know if it's for the better....or the WORSE?!but i know one thing, i m like an lioness, released from her cage, and out into the world- filled with buildings, cars and Nitendo Wiis. she's still wild at heart, really wild, but she's trying to adapt to this NEW world. she's trying to fill that void-emptiness that she's feeling....but can she truly be a "city"lion??

***

as i tried sleeping on the bus today, i couldn't stop but to think- what i am going to do after this? after my "sheltered-wacky-filled all of you" poly life?i mean for the boys, it's simple-NS lor!BUT for us girls? it's either work then study...or study.....or study and work. all these various degrees and universities to choose from, was running rapidly( author's emphasis) through my mind, that i couldn't catch a wink of sleep on the bus. it was so rapid that i couldn't even hear my iPod-playlist playing in the background.it was really like those rushing rapids....it's so loud, that you'll have to shout....i mean there's so many choices, and of them fitted with their "desired" consequences on our lives. all these for the terrifying concept called "Your FUTURE!". do you remember my ATM- abstinance till marriage...u know where i m supposed to keep my body- for the one!but looking at these results and the concept called "Your FUTURE!", i don't think i'll even get the chance to find the one( hopefully, he finds me ...hahaha)....i guess i can live with that. u know, not truly worried about what the future holds- ah!, like real audrey!....of course i am worried, i m petrified- to the point of my mere extinction...that's right, not existence. someone once told me.." if you think too much about things, your life will soon be extinct"....at first, it didn't make sense, but then, i realised that hey, if i stopped LIVING my life, i will soon be extinct.

**hey akka, i m really gg to miss you. so next time, bring Sam. hahaha we miss him!

p.s yesterday, gg talked to me. in fact, he smsed at 2am, just to "inform" me that there was lab....and then he asked me a class related question

peace........and ........................more noise

2008-10-02T07:01:00.000-07:00

i've just realized how important it is, well for me rather, to get some peace and quiet. it's so difficult, in Singaporean lifestyle, to actually find a space amidst the noise pollution and the constant thinking of our schedules. A space where you can roam free without anyone bothering you- asking you questions or talking to you while you're asleep.

sometimes i really wish, that i can say NO- to all those things that keeps me from enjoying my life to the fullest. Spending time with God, is something that i want to have; not as a luxury but as my life. I guess it really takes a whole lot of discipline to starts things something as "simple"( emphasizm) as that.

I just wanna a day where I could wake up late, eat breakfast at 12pm and enjoy the day. walk the beach. take a drive. walk the parks. anything, besides my schedules or errands. i guess i'll only be able to do that- yes, u guessed it, my birthday. I realised my birthday is truly my trump card. sometimes i can say" I can do it...coz it's my birthday"...but for some of you who know me, i've always said-"I can do it"- not because it's my birthday, but rather because- I CAN lar!hahahha....

the only space
to roam free,
to hold air
to taste the breeze

the only space
to carress the sea,
cradle the trees
which is more than a face

the only space,
yes, you got it,
is none other than
your "uncle ned".

maybe i should just RUN away from it all. Just RUN.

i thought i saw......

2008-09-20T01:40:00.000-07:00

sometimes, it's really so hard to breather when you have a three-headed dog breathing down your neck( just brought memories back from watching the first Harry Potter Movie...)..i mean, if you can't think straight, can't see clearly, let alone SHOUT at the top of ur lungs for help. you're so terrified that you can't break free or even wanna break free, coz u know that it'll eat you up.

that's how i'm feeling right now..everytime when i take 2 steps forward, i am being pushed 4 steps backward. i can never seem to catch a break=S, it's like everything starts to pour down and it's floods you( pray that God saves those pple trapped in Hurricane Ike...)....

brb.

ok am back...

so yea, what am i to do?.....more UTs on the way; i'm going crazy with church- ooh since we're on this subject, i don't know why?but i am feeling kinda left out...i feel as if i m falling a part from church...like i've no sense of belonging...maybe i should confirm my membership or sth??heehee...strange as it may seem...i cannot find the reason why.......

first C of the semeter.

2008-09-14T17:27:00.000-07:00

well the title says it all.

cell cycle and oncology

stupid VPN. must have been down, coz i know i typed everything out by 5.30pm!!i have proof!!well no choice i guess, must jia you and work harder!!...

i'm not gonna let technology win.

stuck in a nightmare

2008-09-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

have u ever felt that u were in a nightmare??and you were living it for a whole week?

well if u're living one- then u're lucky because i'm living 2!

1. strange enough, gg happen to be in my analytical instrumentation class.* now seriously, i have no idea why they made it a "compulsory" module for us biotech students. saying that it'll do a great help for us when we enter the U. * okay, so i went with it. now, i was kinda excited and dreading- excited coz school was starting( although it has already been a week+); dreading because i have 4 different classes, 2 of which are in different blocks. so practically everyday, i'm running across campus to go for labs and maybe UTs!!which btw i think is a crazze notion(imagine have UTs, different modules, running from Eblocks to Wblocks in under 5mins. they're practically 200m away!)...just as things were turning for the better, i looked into my class roster and low-and-behold, i stumble upon a familiar name. yes, it was gg's. i was like- omgosh!why???DIFFERENT CLASSES AND NOW THIS??!!. i was terrified, at the same time annoyed. i mean what happens if we have to work together??i mean can we really put everything behind and work professionally?coz i know i can( i can!!) bu what about him. i mean in the first lesson, i was kinda looking at the board- and all i could see was gg's kiddy handwritting. and i tot to myself- i actually went after that? what was i thinking?!! so anways, the funny thing was that, i was trying to pretend nothing happen, and when i did enter the class( missing classroom, another day, another story....)he was like smirking at me. i was thinking- oh, thanks gg.no help u were.

2.
now, it's the worst nightmare...and to the least, you find yourself, in that nightmare- in reality.. everyone knows i love my family, but it's just sometimes, i really need to get away. i have a feeling that i can't leave them, although i really wanna try studying abroad. just recently, i've been receiving recruitment letters from the navy, telling me that they'll sponsor my studies,anywhere- everything looks so promising. but as always, there's always a catch. for some of you, you what it is. but at the same time, i have a feeling saying- Trust me and i will lead you to greener pastures......leaving my family is gg to be tough. as school's coming to end, i am beginning to feel real anxious and worried that things may go wrong if i were to leave for Uni.....a dream like that, has been in my head over and over again.

and now, with things like this...how am i going to make the decision of my life??

i just wish, things were back to normal- everything to the way and how it should be. nothing causing any rift or anxiety. but what's life without a lil'obstacles? it wouldn't be called life right?

relentless

2008-09-02T20:32:00.000-07:00

i think you will alot of that word going around- maybe in blogs-, people talking about it.

yeaps, i am talking about teh YMLC, that just happened couple days back.....it was a rather refreshing and interesting conference. although, it was wake-up early- schedule packed- conference, there was insight and people, i belive, brough something back with them.

YMLC lasted 3D2N @ Pulai Springs Resort, JB. The place was small but sweet....i haven't bunked with people in a long time. so i apologise,early, to Ruth and Mingz...hahahha if you encountered weird things or heard something growl in the middle of the night, i am truly sorry..heehee:)). okok, enough about that....

the reason why i wanted to go for YMLC....
1. i wanted to go for a conference/workshop/ or something close a mission trip
2. get away from school and the hassle of life( but that didn't work either)
3. encounter God

anyways, i went to YMLC, with the expectations that i could meet people in God's house and enjoy the fellowship. i really wanted to know that PLMC wasn't the only church in the whole of Singapore( or rather "my universe"). so on the first day, we arrived early, at newton and headed straight in to malaysian-wet-raining- skies....the moment we arrived, we were directed to a marquee on the grounds- our Conference hearld..hahaha, and low-and-behold, TNG worship team was playing for the introductory. cool, eh.....heard the message from Rev.Dr. Wee( we still know him as Rev.Wee)and had lunch.......the food, was really taking each of the participant on an amazonian adventure- eat if you dare- kind of adventure( stories of people getting food poisoning once we touched back, is kinda scary....ooooooh)finally, a long long long while aft lunch, we got into our rooms, took a well needed shower and headed back for dinner and sermon.

after dinner, a Pastor Yang from CCMC( Cornerstone) gave a rather- not-heard of- sermon. something that i wished the methodist would encourage. it really gave me goosebumps and jolts. coz eventhough i wasn 't feeling that well, and i was tired/sleepy, his sermon really kept me up in my seat. i think his sermon wasn't the kind where you can take down sermon notes, it's something that you take back with you heart. Pastor Yang was talking "Spiritual Fire" ( coincidentally, Don Moen's Fresh Fire is playing in the background...Fresh Fire, let it fall..wooah) something i was truly lacking. honestly, i haven't been doing my personal time with God. well, namely coz, i was busy for the couple of weeks back with FYP and coz, dad was away...couldn't really take my mind of things.( yes, yes, i know it shouldn't be an excuse)...so...i was that during this whole conference, i could experience God once again. so when he called us to receive this "fresh fire", i went up. i was desperate/yearning for a spark, again. i went up.
now, i don't know if i was cold- coz i was shaking/shivering as i went up there. i felt as if God was "shaking"things up for me. But one thing i know for sure: the spirit of tongues just came over me. i was speaking that i've never used before.

my heart was really crying out for TNG. i really wanted to see a "paradigm shift", if u get what i mean. i really wanted to see youths passionate for God, that they are desperate- ask and seek Him...to the point that their mannerism shows it. i kinda worried that we'll just become a "club on sundays" in the long run- hey, i'll be part of them as well. so i guess the "heart-crying-out" was also for me.

awaken ,audrey
awaken
To my dreams for you.

God kinda reminded me of the 4-year pact, i made with Him last/beginning of this year. I guess with all that's happening to me( people, school and family), He just wanted me to know that He'll always be here- for me. Cool thing- as I was doing a morning prayer-walk on th 2nd day, as I was looking up to the skies- I caught something. I was telling God of my problems in school and my anxieties. it was kinda drizzling that morning- skies were dark. But even as the skies were grey, i happen to spot a small clearing and behind it, i could see clear blue skies, as if the sun purposely was shinning there.

it's too painful

2008-08-25T20:40:00.000-07:00

it's getting harder and harder..looking at those grades of mine...i'm really worried that i won't be able to accepted into NUS/NTU....in fact, i'm more looking forward for UWA than the local Us here....i mean, what is this man? does God want me to go overseas? But Lord, you know my family situation...can we afford it? as what Rach Jie says, I'm just gg to rest in your spirit. Matt5:25-30.....i'm leaving my weary heart and surrendering all that i have to you. U know what's best for me....

Dad when r you coming back??we miss you terribly..can't stop thinking about you...i miss you:(

xoxo

a new week

2008-08-21T00:09:00.000-07:00

last day*OF SCHOOL:

so it's been awhile since i've typed something in my blog...well i m already missing some people....W55N- missing u guys already..man, all those funny and quirky revelations..it was really good getting to know y'all....p.s no more weird dreams farhati kays....

here are some interesting ones:

farhati and chongs...tweeses...

me posing for nuts....uuhum,

crazzeee razi at the back...can't u spot him??

so it'd definitely be awhile till i see them again( well coz i missed them on Mon...sorrie guys... another one kays..) so i hope that'd we'd go out soon as a class before the semester begins...

today:
actually, it was more like yesterday. i just got the full prints for the Magazine and, people, it's looking good. i really hope everyone will, continue, to contribute to the team with their ideas and articles/ anything they'd like to share. i seriously think that it's a good way for us, teens, to express our feelings in a less judgemental way. praise God for all that He's done for us+ me.

well back to school again, for FYP. i m kinda enjoying it after all...i mean seeing the team brings back lots of funny memories...like when we'd stay back till 10pm doing like 150 samples...or when randy would be funny just to keeps us going....love y'all:)xoxo...

anyways, i had a small fight with prathap( yes, i am using Names instead of codes). it wasn't really good coz he was trying to be funny but me, being into my work, i took it seriously. anyways, it got bad and like he was 'bout to come to school, to settle this, when i slammed down on him, and just let him cool off. of course, in the end he did( he'd better!!)cool off...so he called last night and apologized for his erratic behaviour towards me...it's definitely been awhile since i've seen this side of him...it kinda makes me wonder if he's using me as a sub or something like "gf-material"...i mean eventhough, we were together for sometime, i just hope that he finds someone soon because i m sure not gonna be here all the time, and he can't be using me as his source of "happiness"( if u get what i mean.). i love him,yes, but as a friend and nothing more. i had a good talk with him this morning, thrashed it all out, and kinda forgot about the whole incident. let bygons be bygones. ...

tom:
things to do?
- find a present for bridget
- go to IDP uni seminar
- clean the house
- pack clothes for sat! Bridget's Bday!!!

on the " hate" list

2008-08-12T08:59:00.000-07:00

oh God, i may actually be on everyone's " I hate " list....been asking lots of peeps to help out with the Mag and have been shot down:((

God, i seriously wanna bring the magazine forward..i can't do it without your help. Nothing is impossible with you. i will declare your love in the morning and faithfulness at night..i will continue to praise you no matter what the outcome. Please show favour on those in the team....we need you....

thank those who've really helped us( even the small parts)people like Ruth, Eliz, Charlene, Uncle James, Ryan, David, Brendan,Valeria, Vania, Joaqium, Sam Kang, Stephanie, Cleo, Piglet, Vic...and anyone who i might have missed...Thank You.

to the team( you guys mean everything to m<3)
GLENN- for your endless support and design skills, leadership and love
DWIGHT- for just being you and the love and passion you give towards your projects and me
JOWELL- my dear, thanks for everything. being a sweetheart and friend.thanks for all your nonsensical ways of writing and saying stuff.

another end

2008-08-11T20:50:00.000-07:00

to another beginning...

here are just some pictures to remember by....

W55N

i'm going to miss you...

things to do during the hols:MUST DO!!

Final Year Projects G302
Call Office/ Teaching jobs!( <3ing>
Lead Magazine Trail!( TNG!)
Class outing W55N-18thAug, ECP
Dumb2 21st Bday!
Archana 21st Bday
YLMC.

things i wanna do during the hols:
- watch movies

~~Breakfast At Tiffany's~~
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Journey to Centre of the Earth
Walk to Remember
Mind Your Language
Mummy 3
Get Smart

- read books
- go cycling( let's go W55N)
- go window shopping
- save enough money( to give mum)
- mani/pedi
- food adventure( anyone wanna gain a couple of pounds)

anyone wanna help me with these?...

it's NATIONAL day? already?

2008-08-10T01:33:00.000-07:00

this "National Day" felt kinda weird....well first of all, it fell on a Saturday...not really much of a hype, there...

it was an interesting morning, coz no one bothered me- serious. No one called my name or jerrrrked me out of bed. it was just me....so i took a good shower and decided to do QT. and yes, there was no interruption there!wow, guess it was Spirit-led day. AMEN. so had lunch w my family. didn't do chores( interesting fact no#2)....

later on, went for Jacq's amazing farewell party...mingle with good and graciously-funny company( Hi you guys, Campus Crusaders!)....hahhaha it was a wild and interesting..got to know them better...ah! it seems i found another charlton!...no no, not ying but i think he's surname is tan- or-something-like-that....( if i had known better, i would have asked Daddy for the car....)...took a direct-bus( another one of God's timely intervention!amen!) back home, 165....came home around close to midnight..

SO now, today, SUNDAY.
it didn't start off nice. mum's sniggering remarks of course. but nevertheless, keeping my promise to NOT get ANGRY w anyone or anything on a sunday...so headed off to cell and then service...was pretty good...sermon was interessting.
so took all the necessary photos needed for the mags( thanks everyone for helping:))

a wise word, it's sad but true...i had to learn my lesson the hard way, but i guess better now than never right

never date a guy from my schoo.:(

it's generalising i know, but hey, once bitten twice shy right?

another drastic week!

2008-08-08T00:34:00.000-07:00

things TO DO:
1. do the chores
2. find people to help to contribute to the Hidden Treasures.
3. Check if Magazine Template is ready
4. discuss with Dwight re: photo spread
5. DEVOTION
6. Jacq's farewell party

it's been a real while since i had a-Audrey Time. i really miss it; sometimes just wanting to be alone- nothing to bother you, just you, your mind and body. can i actually have that time? i hardly think so. there's FYP, there's work, there's church stuff and family. i m never alone or bored( and God i thank you for that) but sometimes, having too much of a thing can be bad for you.

i guess the only time i have to myself would be on the bus- listening to my music and sleeping. Not really productive right? or maybe it is- to my brain/body.

p.s. i don't get Monday off- although it's national day.

p.s.s. i saw gg today on the bus. he was like totally trying to avoid me( not really a good job i might add- covering ur face with your laptop, lame!)....hahaha....i guess it's over. i just hope we're still friends. that'd be nice:)

what a "SICK" day

2008-08-04T23:03:00.000-07:00

the past day:

for those of you who don't know:
- had a very BAD cough and flu
- in the end, had an asthma attack; needed the nabuliser( it looks like an oxygen tank with mask)
thus, didn't come to school on Mon(Singapore time); TODAY'S Tuesday!

Just another day

2008-07-31T07:23:00.000-07:00

it's just another day in audreyville..what good can come out of it...seriously???

up, up and AWAY~!!hahahaha

more loves...

hey, how you doing??

marcus: more tickles, randy...heehee!!

thanks you guys, for making me feel better....<3 style="font-style: italic;">marcus, randy, nina....for the chit-chat and the eating...wow, did i feast when i got back.hehehe...

my first kiss

2008-07-30T17:27:00.000-07:00

no no, it's not what you're thinking....

i guess i was really sleepy, that i didn't realize a car behind whilst i was parking.

my first kiss in the car park...it's only 5months and i've already gotten into an "accident"

as a good and wise friend said " you'll never learn driving unless you get into an accident"

i just hope it doesn't happen often.

the REAL kiss is yet to happen. hopefully on my wedding...

impact of your life

2008-07-28T01:29:00.000-07:00

have you wondered who is your greatest influence in your life?

as for me, i think it those who care for me, in every aspect.
1. My parents...
i know that whatever i do, they'll be behind me, in terms of my goals and ambition. they are always there to give me cute, yet sound advice on how i should lead my life. they have always told me that eventhough they are here, i have to learn to make my mistakes and decisions in my "upcoming"life.thanks for always being my ROCK and pillar of hope.

2. my sister
everything i do, i do it for [you]her. sounds like a rod stewart/bryan adams song.hehehehe...so i mean, she looks up to me..and what happens if i set a bad example? wouldn't i be jeopardizing her chances in like?

3. my bff.
they are my rock and pillar of strength. i am really grateful for who they are, for how God has placed them in my life and i count the number of times i've thanked God for them. i mean even though we have our differences, but we are united in the body of Christ.

4. my church buddes.
they are the funniest people i know. i know i can count on them for advice from the 66books. they are here to hold me up, spur me on.

they have impacted so much so, that here's my list

must be a God-loving christian(Duh?!)
he must have good relations with his parents/family
My mum and dad must also like him
he wants to educate himself by getting a degree and more...
must have a goal(s) in life
He must not be interested in RA,porn stuff
must not speak/say vulgarities
He must have his own mind; opinions and knows what he wants in life
He must be sensitive, to my and others' feelings and kind hearted.
He has to love sport(s)

i know it sounds impossible, but hey, i am living for an "nothing is impossible" God.

at times, it gg to be difficult to try and follow this list but with those who have impacted my life, i guess we can work this out together.

loves.

ladies night out

2008-07-21T00:02:00.000-07:00

these are some long over due pics

igot milk?

i really miss these times. i was just talking to mum abt them, and she says that as we grow older we have our own clique to hang with. No more cousins etc. we'll be living our own lives...but i told her "No, cousins will always be cousins"..... but it is real tiring to make something work when the other party(ies) don't make the effort too. sometimes i really wanna give up....how much longer can i be the one who calls or sms.....it's really tiring. i just hope that they'll realize i may not always be here for them.

***

so last night, we went out with uncle Frank and aunty Karen( Perth, Ahoy!)....we had dinner at a restaurant called marrakesh, a lil' nook along clarke quay. really nice and quiet place( till 11pm. then the party-goers start flocking the place)....there were countless numbers of cute guys(by the looks of it, most of the playboys) and mamma-mia hot girls(guys i bet you're drooling already.)sorrie i don't have any picture to show you...but i bet you can use your imagination/brain for once in your lifetime....so anyways, back to the story.

all of us( mum, dad, mandy, uncle Frank, aunty Karen and mama Pandian) were eating turkish, lebanese food with of course the slight taste of wine. so it so happens that uncle Frank and aunty Karen had just came back from Ireland/England from visiting relatives....and one of their"relatives" happened to be their son/step-son, Christopher. i don't know what is about "Christophers" in the world...but must they always have the "thirst" to be RIGHT??!btw, the meaning of christopher= christ-bearer, in other words. Faith. as i was saying, so they(F+K) met christopher in london where's he' studying some IT-related degree at THAMES etc.....and it's so funny, because he remembers the girl whom talked to on the phone a couple of years back. aka. MUA<---
Flashback: a couple of years back
Chris: Hi, I'm Chris. who am i speaking to?( with strong Aussie accent)
Me: Hi chris, I'm Rick's daughter Audrey. how are you?
Chris: Oh, well, i'm fine thanks...so whatcha up to?
Me: well i'm fine thanks, well pretty much talking to you and doing my homework:)
Chris: so when are you coming down here??I'd like to bring you clubbing
at this point of time, i was only 17, just below the age limit for clubbing all 'round the world
Me: oh, that's nice chris. but sorry, i'm underage. only 17
Chris: LOL( emphasizm on LOL)...oh bother. too bad.
Me: oh, ok. well nice talking to yea( NOT!)bye.

so imagine the impression i had of him.

it seems that aunty Karen had a sweet impression of him. he's more of a daft( Dork in American slang). she kept on emphasizing that he had a good heart although he looked "buffer" now from the last time she saw him( skinny)....so i guess that's a good thing then...hahahahha

okok, That's NOT the embarrassing part yet. my mum, said

"oh well, don't worry Karen...we've got one here too...." and she points to me.

that's when the WHOLE match-making Audrey-Chris started.....especially uncle Frank..." if you both of chemisty, then good. if not, then move on....it'd be good to have you as a daughter-in-law"....omgosh, imagine how i felt.....ah!!!!!!

but i love them both, Frank and Karen.

7 things?

2008-07-15T08:04:00.001-07:00

7 things that scare you:

1. SNAKES- every type....
2. not getting the GPA i need for Uni
3. loosing my family and friends
4. being kidnap( i don't have a lot of $$ leh)
5. my dark secrets
6. Hair getting more curly. HA!
7. paralysis- due to injuries

7 things you like the most:

1. living life to the fullest
2. my family(extended included)
3. FRIENDS!lovin u**
4. driving
6. Ben N Jerry's ice-cream...yummies
7. Listening to my ipod.

7 important things in my room:

1. a radio
2. bed
3. a lot of storage and display place( i have tons of stuff)
4. photos of my life( people i care and think about)
5. AMANDA
6. my guitars
7. ME

7 random facts about me:

1. my nickname is named after famous football player-turned-coach
2. i take no longer than 10 mins in the shower
3. I have never rebonded my hair...never want to
4. I'm indian+javanese
5. I can't speak both mother tongues fluently but i understand them...
6. I can speak a bit of mandarin
7. I can never seem to save??HELP!

7 things i plan to do before i die:

1. visit Africa
2. Sky-diving
3. Go scuba diving in the pacific ocean and see whale sharks!!awesome!
4. Travel to exotic places
5. get married?
6. have 1 million dollars in my will
7. drive in my Mini Cooper S Calbrio

7 things i can do:

1. Play the guitar
2. play the piano
3. Teach little kids:)
4. Make people laugh or smile
5. Sing? Act?
6. Use my tongue to touch my nose.....heehee
7. Just being Audrey

7 things i can't do:

1. Can't grow any taller:(
2. can't stop sleeping...love doing it man!
3. can't get rid of my dark circles
4. can't drive a bike....( or maybe i wil???)
5. can't live without my family...
6. Can't stop laughing( best medicine in the world)
7. can't live without Jesus!

7 things you can attracted to in the opposite sex:

1. A man after God's <3
2. loves me for me. being w me n family
3. tall
4. laughter.....great sense of humor, and makes me laugh when i m down
5. sports-any type
6. car or can drive....
7. hmmm?

7 things i say often:

1. heloooooo!:)
2. makan?!
3. huh??
4. wanna go out
5. i m sleepy.......
6. Season of faith
7. love you, xoxi

The 7 people to do this survery:

1. Christina Renae Wee
2. Bridget Foong
3. Yap Yin Yee
4. Ruth Lee
5. Eliz Chia
6. Serina Ho
7. Farhati( W55N)

life's like a tennis court

2008-07-15T07:35:00.000-07:00

in other words, the balls in your court buddy; pick it up!

seriously, is it that difficult to toss it over to my side?what just because of what i said, u're keeping it to yourself?!!hmph,look who's "petty" now...

i mean i thought the dating game was a "game" between 2 consenting people. and part of the rules were to get to know each other better. it's not an exclusive relationship, isn't it? i mean, i don't recall or rather know of a date that consequently lead to, ooh, let's say, marriage(besides you, mum. u met Dad and poof! instantaneous nuptials!)......i mean spending time with someone who may be the possible one isn't about exclusivity. it's about friendship- a relationship with no strings attached, understanding feelings and knowing the person-inside out. JUST LIKE A BEST FRIEND. * there it goes on the radio I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend- Lucky by Jason Mraz Feat Colbie Calliat* i don't know about you, but i sure hope that the person i wanna spend the rest of my life with, is my best friend...then you ask yourself, "does this only happen in fairytales?"

life is definitely, today, like a tennis court. i've said my part. the ball's in your court buddy, do it what you will. Score a grand slam or don't. as long it doesn't hit my face or my heart, i m fine with it. i can handle all the surfings you give.

SAYANG SAYANG

2008-07-13T22:53:00.000-07:00

this post has nothing to do with the title...just heard Farhati say it...so it sounded nice:).

so last friday, we had X-synth AGM. here are some pics:)as you see from the pics, i wasn't really myself.....had like sore throat and a weird running nose....
plus it was raining...shivers...good thing i had 2 of "love" blankets-thanks Nina and Bridget for accompanying me to the event..hope u guys had fun:) i sure had,....

*gonna miss you Bee...

so the day after, first time in RP history( or rather my schooling history), i decided to skip school and give the Doc a visit. went to the polyclinic and waited in the loooooong queue...haiz....

it seems that i have a viral flu....weird on so many levels.let me list u 5...

1. isn't flu caused by a virus...so why the "viral" before the flu??
2. i don't have a fever?!
3. are u sure it's not a throat infection?
4. no need for antibiotics?
5. the meds are not really working leh?!!

well, will just continue praying for healing. SEASON OF FAITH!!nothing's impossible for my God.

In progress

2008-07-08T07:43:00.000-07:00

it's been a tiring day, and just looking at my grades i am more dreaded than before. haiz.....it sounds so bad, i mean c'mon. cut me some slack..it's my final year. Oh Lord, i am leaving all these troubles to you,at your throne. You are kings of Kings, Lord of Lords!! be my Lord over this!.....

it's gonna be even tougher now, coz Uni's are starting soon..that means my time's almost up.i have got 6 more months to get myself into the Local U!!so was just talking to a couple of mates...and talking to Raymond helped. i mean, he and i got alot of things in common- to the point that it's even our season of Faith. i mean saying that you trust in God is one thing, but actually doing it- is a totally different ball game. You mean Business with the Most High when u say that. thanks Ray, it's really comforting to know that i'm not alone:)<3...

i guess he's kinda busy with his things. i am glad* that we're on the same page about this. i think knowing who we are and each other is the fundamental of any friendship/relationship. it's going to get even more stressed as the day goes by....coz of school and other commitments. you know, i just wanna see how far I can go in this play...how LOOOONG can a guy hold on to a promise made...will you be any different?? OR will all Guys be the same??...stay tuned!

p.s if you've got nothing much to do on a Sat night, why don't you pop by for an evening of great music and arts...

Serenade: by Dee and Lizzay
Republic Poly, 12thJuly, 5pm and 7.15pm.

c u there.

word to the wise

2008-07-07T07:15:00.000-07:00

someone gave me a piece of wisdom today:
" maybe he's not avoiding you but rather giving you space.....respecting your boundaries..."

woah, it was really wise coming out from another guy....there may be hope for the male species after all...not just a bunch blokes as i thought it might be...heeeheee...well another monday. here she's ending.

i'm just really tired because the night(yes, sunday night) before, i was cleaning the house and preparing dinner for mandy and i. so many clothes and chores to clear...haiz...was real excited for mandy coz her friends were coming over today(monday)....but it was kinda all to waste. they didn't turn up today. haiz....now my back really hurts...but nevertheless, the chores must go on...so finally, talked to prathap...- yes, i forgive you. talked about the past, future and current stuff going on, in each other's lives. was rather interesting hearing tales from the camp.....

***

well today was rather good. first time, driving to school during the peak hour. hahhaa..of course with daddy by my side...loves dad!...hahaha but sadly he had to take the car back...."one day audrey, one day"...hahaha but i heard someone else drove to school today..interestingly enough JC did drive..well goodos to you mate!...proud of you....anyways, i didn't talk much to him today....maybe coz he was in Lab or whatever....so decided to let him do all the work....if he wants to talk to him, just pick up the phone and do so ok:) i m leaving you to the Most High.

nights me love.

FYP and soon-to be-heartbreaks.

2008-07-02T18:16:00.000-07:00

FYP was kinda alright yesterday..i think we should all give each other a pat on the back:)...it was nerve-wrecking as my pictures couldn't be seen and there were typos here and there.....but we were cool as cucumber..hahahah...so we did abit of cam-whoring and more stuff to ease the tension and relax ourselves in these gruelling 6 hrs.
here's our presentation:

just me and the girls...

the boys-cooling off...
randy's "good-flyingkicc-ass"kick.

and aft all these hard work,
we went out for lunch at kopitiam velocity@Novena...it was a pretty good lunch; sharing tots and ideas...hahaha

bridget's fly-by-eyes!shades...heehee...@ COTTON ON

beggar at Novena MRT..."$1 pls, no money"

hahah
i love you guys:
Randy, Chris, Nina, Bridget and of course, the man of the day, Chowdhury...( happy bday!)...heehee...thanks for everything, all the effort put in this project..let's spur on for G302.

***

well, i don't know...the post says " soon- to be- heartbreak"...i don't know if i am dreaming or is this another stunt....it all started with mandy's reading to my "horoscope" by yours truly, "CLEO" mag,...it says that i will meet up with my old flame in the week..but it didn't say how many or which one...and what am i supposed to do with them??heee...btw, i don't really read into this...one called me..and asked me out for dinner on Sat, cos he was leaving for ANU( p.s it's the Uni i wanted to attend)...wyn, i am gg to miss u....heehee...so yea, as usual piglet always goes into a fit, when some-random- guys shows interest in me; she'd go all out to make sure that he does ....she's like my personal PI.hahahha...but i LOVE her to death...and then here's another one, i mean...i m not sure...he suddenly showed sudden interest in me....flirts here and there- calling me up and askin how my day is...etc...hmmm...i am seriously curious how to react to his actions and intentions towards me.

okay, for both, i makes me sound as if i am the "rebound" girl, i know it sounds like despo...but the situation puts me as that. i try to be oblivious coz i know that somewhere down the line, it's never gg to work. I don't know what the future holds to the point whether i'd be here or overseas...think abt the detrimental consequences of having a long-distance relationship, with anyone for that matter. i don't think any( majority) of them, would even last that long...

GUYS, can you hold on to the love and hope, if the LOVE of your LIFE, had to be away for 3 or more years?would u do anything?be honest.

guys+gals, any advice?

i'm all ears...

a mess with numbers.

2008-06-26T17:12:00.000-07:00

i have so many things to accomplish, yet so little time.

here comes the dates...no no, not those* kinds. as in numbers, dates of the month...etc...yea those kind. i just realized that as long we're living, we can never live each day for itself. you know, can you ever not ask for the time or what day it is. live the day as it were your last. i think you could really enjoy the day as if it were your last.......ONLY if you were a billionaire or sth...i have a full load of schedules in my diary- filled with this and that for which day? i have no idea, i have to check my schedule. even worse, i have the same thing in my phone and my outlook calendar," just in case" i totally forgot one or the other. i hardly have time for " hey do you just wanna hang out"times...my answer would be " oh let me check my calendar"...i'd be so afraid that i'd have to do something more important than pampering myself or just spending time with people.

well, i was just talking to a gf( thanks nina)of mine, and i've realised that i love being who i am. i am celebrating the personality, uniqueness that God has given me and listening to Pastor Joel on the podcast, i think we are so critical of ourselves that we beat ourselves to the bone. " We should have not gone out when there's tons of clothes to be washed" or " man, i wish i could be like her, multi-tasking and all". i mean there comes a point where admiration becomes envy.

can't see those clouds of blue
moments of her life seems to fly by
hopes and dreams fall through;
riding across the plains of fear and shame
she finds comfort in the winds of change
he tells that she's not to blame
her family, her choices or herself
for all that's happen.
hold on child, for more things to come
chew on your spirit gum
and blow bubbles of dreams and innocence.

lucky?

2008-06-18T18:51:00.000-07:00

i beg to differ coz i still have to wake up at 6am everyday since school started*15th june*...ah!!seeing amanda sleep as i make a rackus!...ahahhaha sorrie piglet.. i am just so glad, coz i can finally testify to God's love and grace. i've realised that i have yet to fall sick since the start of school....normally, i'd be immuno-compromised.. i can fall heavily sick just with a cough...that's how bad it can get...but by GOD'S GRACE AND LOVE, i haven't had one inch of flu/fever etc....so He's really been good in my season of faith!xoxo God.

i have given my all to God, let Him decide my decisions and history-making. i mean this is my season of Faith- of things to come; things not seen but heard. So I will continue to speak of goodness and continuously praise Him. so Jesus, take over! Take it all!!!

****

so there's UT today- Genomics.haiz, hopefully i can maintain my GPA by the end of this semst.i mean there's even SILENT!!!!( pun intended) competition. but regardless of that, i have to do my part as a student and daughter of my parents, to do my best and work towards to my future, with God in mind.

ALSO, i just realized, that i am not really growing in my christian walk, in terms of the word...i admit that. i feel that service nowadays has become more of ritual. i am not saying that the sermon series is not good, i think it's kinda me.... i mean i find listening to Joel Osteen much more relevant and applicable to my life than the sermon series....So i've decided that i am going to get my whole bible study resources( if there are...) and i don't think i am the only one who feels this way.btw, our congregation numbers are some sort dwindling. service time, there are less pple coming to service nowadays. nevertheless, let's continue to pray for a heart-filled revival in each of the members and pray that the sermon series packs the power of God.

i think in this world, death is part of life. with every death, i believe there's life. i am grateful that i still have more to give and my family and loved ones are support me in my decisions. love u guys!.

p.s. good luck Jacq. u'll do fine for TP. dear God, i pray for my sister Jacq, that you give her strength to face challenges, be her eyes, ears and legs- to move smoothly during her TP. i pray for the kind and understanding instructor. also pray for smooth route and traffic. Amen.

rain as it shines....

2008-06-08T19:27:00.000-07:00

well it has definitely been awhile since my last post...well the holidays are in a week now, so i have been MIA for a week ...heee....sorry readers...been spending much needed time with family and sister....(alot w sister....Love her!!)....

so it so happened, that God really did answer my prayers...i told Him that i wanted to drive around town during the hols....so i prayed real hard*squints*to pass the 2nd try of my driving TP...AND I DID!!! praise God!...hahahah...so have been driving up and down town for the past week now...( p.s. can't really drive...still under probation plate"p")...

the family and i went to pulau balakan mati( mind my malay... horrible), yes, sentosa..just for a day...so we went tabaggon-ing...and skyriding...what else did we do??...well we kinda explored sentosa, and found out that there's nothing much anymore, since they closed down fantasy island, like a couple of years ago..anyone remember that place??!...i do!!:((

the singapore weather has been a bit off lately...my dad calls it the reason why doctors are earning more money...the "rain while it shines" season...i think, at some point, DAD!, that the weather has sth to do it..i mean , i have a theory- we may be mammals( warm blooded) that we also tend to defend ourselves against weather conditions. In an instance, it may be raining cold outside, you stay home and warm....and it stops raining, it's hot and humid. u turn on the fan to keep cool...imagine this cycle- on and on and on...your body temperature is def going to go wack!!

haiz...well it's another 6 more days till i have to go back to school:) :(..can't make up my mind which smiley to use...heehee...

btw, I have a pair of BRAND NEW! jeans.

Lee RIDE 651, waist 28

Slim.

Super Low rise

Straight.

so if you're interested, give me a buzz...

p.s.s.

i finally did it!.

.....

.........

...........

.............>>

i cut my hair!..yay!

a new start....

2008-05-28T17:54:00.000-07:00

i am soo sleepy but nevertheless, i should persevere on...haiz...

i really thank these people in my life...

niina

bridget

randy

yy

ruth...

FYP: i really thank you for being so understanding, especially when i had my driving lesson and so supportive when i was doing my driving test..heehee...i think we're one( or ONLY)of those who really stick through thick and thin...even when the experiments are not even( yours), we still come together and help each other out!! MAN, 150 tubes/samples...jia you!!!...love you guys man

yy: thanks bff, for everything, for being such a beauty in my life..making seems so much fun..it's ok if u'd been busy, coz when we're tog, it's like a carnival fun!!missing yea...lurrvveesss

ruth: You are my pillar of strength, in times when i am; my source of encouragement and love whenever i was tired and lacking of it, thanks so much for understanding when i needed a day-off from everything..u've helped me grow and given me space for creativity...xoxox...

there's more trouble broiling today...there's Proteomics UT today..dear God, i pray for time. Slow time down so that i can answer the questions in the UT. I also ask for wisdom and quick-thinking. I believe i will get the results i desire. You are the God above all my circumstance:)Amen...

orange-red encounter

2008-05-25T17:04:00.000-07:00

so i was heading to church for comms meeting, when i had a strange encounter...

i took the common 147 bus, walked thru the seats and decided to sit next to an old Indian lady. she was big lady..red-orange sari..; she had to shuffle to give me space for me n crumpler..heeeheee..

she was speaking to me in Tamil...(i hardly understood a word she spoke..she was talking like a bullet train)...she was saying all sorts of things..like how my family must be real blessed, how i will end up in the US for studies..etc..she was like in some way "sucking" up to me...i was kinda queered up on why she said those things...first, i tot she was just lonely and just rambled on. so i went along with it...

all of a sudden, she asked me if i could accompany her to Tekka(Little India)...i was stunned...i politely declined..and said i had to go somewhere..

old lady: where?
stunned-Me: i have to go to church
Old lady: oh, church ar...
Me: yea, aunty.
Old lady: well then, can u just give me some $$
Now-real-stunned- ME: huh?
Old lady: money. can u give me money...any amt also can...
Now-real-stunned-Me: erm, i am not sure.
Old lady: any amount will do

now at this time, i was like really stunned, i mean how could she just ask me...a nobody- a stranger to her....she must have really needed it...

but i had to politely decline...got off the bus; i felt kinda upset aft that.. i felt sympathetic as well as scared...i mean i don't know what to do in such situations....seriously, would u have known what to do??

Jesus, i am really sorrie for not helping this old woman. i pray that you will continue to bless her and keep her safe.be her food and warmth.

amen.

mummy's day or is it daddy's bday??

2008-05-21T23:01:00.000-07:00

i know this is kinda delayed..but here are some snippets at the party-family gathering...wish u were Akka:))

photos of the Night

more crazy-ness
<3>

<3 attae S

more cousin crazee-ness

missing one part of the gang...
cam-whore madness
<3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_VxWPioChNuA/SDUQTqpWCFI/AAAAAAAAAVQ/uA8zOwOB-ek/s1600-h/P4140198.JPG">pockets-in...
just u and me, babe

besties!
huggies...

what a night<3...rocking hard!!

i miss them

2008-05-20T00:10:00.001-07:00

i miss u guys!!

Time disrupts it all

2008-05-19T17:34:00.001-07:00

u know when you're dreaming- a nice dream- then all of a sudden the alarm clocks ringzzzz.....

ah! it's so annoying!!

i was dreaming about my "prince charming"..dreaming about how i could spend a holiday in our chateau de luxe, being waited upon hand and foot by his servants...hahaha breakfast in silk bed..hahah sounds too good to be true..--wait and listen--the best part has yet to come....

he calls daddy and sets up a meeting with him....imagine my father(most guys shudder when i mention his name...)....no, but he wanted to meet up with him and tell him sth...wad do u think it was...

he asked daddy for my hand(yes......)...the way he asked- so confident, so manly, so chivalrous...my "knight in shining armour".......

"Prince": Sir, i love your daughter.
Dad: love is not all that son
"Prince": i know, i am willing to admit defeat for anything else,but i know i am not willing to NOT love her....
Dad: what happens if you fight?
"Prince": We'll get through it, with God's help, yours and my parents. Just because we're in love doesn't mean we forget who we are.

Dad nods.

where r u, my prince??

RINGZZZ!!!!
the alarm rang. end of dream.

ps. the prince's name was..........

B-R-A-N-D-O-N.

a morning check-up

2008-05-11T17:52:00.000-07:00

today:TUESDAY:

Sunday Night:
was a major fun time... we finally saw the whole family group for daddy's birthday and also HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! so all the mother's came..yay!!it was nice...the dinner was huge...chilli crabs, pepper crabs,steamed and fried fish...chap chye....fried baby squid....and it was all in one sitting-DINNER. could u imagine...man, was i eating and eating and eating.....i think i put on my desired weight...probably about 1-2kg more..soon, i'll be able to tone up!yay!!

Monday Morning:
so i got and tried to put something decent...had lab so must wear jeans and covered shoes...
met the boys in the morning..thanks Hao Ren, for "perking" me up...love u...hahaha...so just ate jelly and had a drink and went to meet the rest for lab...haiz...the night before was the ManU vs Chelsea match...so you could imagine the guys and girls(mostly claudia and me) talking abt that..hahaha and surprisingly, Monkey came to school....

but the funny thing is that, he came to school n he looked pretty ok...but then, even before the faci opened the PS....he was like shivering(poor monkey, seriously, he was) and he was like, "Ma'am, i'd like to go home...i don't think i am feeling too good."haiz...so told him to see the doc but he's like " I am not a Doc's Man..." whatever monkey...hope u're feeling better:P

so moving on....
we had lab this morning....funny man, i mean the faci was trying to explain the "stages of a microscope"...it was funny...draggyyyy...

Lester: If u can listen to her and not fall asleep, you can drive for 4hrs straight...

*thanks lester for the notation..i know u've got a driving license alr lar...!!

lunch was fun w classmates..Serina and I had an interesting revelation...we both have a "What I want in a Man" list!!haahah

back to the lesson:
in her previous lesson, we took like an HOUR for one team. i mean c'mon...so we decided, that we'll try and keep questions to the minimum..coz we've got UT, after that....so my team's presentation wasn't that bad...we had answered most of her second meeting question...so it was good...fin 3 teams before 4. got ready for UT....

UT was crazeeee...i hope that whatever i write makes some sense...God, i surrender and rest in You:)

SAVE THE EARTH! kill audrey's fun!

2008-05-08T17:22:00.001-07:00

Wednesday!

it was meant to be a fun and fruitful day, coz the day before, was Dad's birthday...was hoping to spend time with him.....dah dah dah( with the 20th Century Fox), there was a power outage...THE WHOLE DAY!....9am-5pm...omgosh...could u imagine what i did??basically, i nearly died/not being able to do anything!haiz...

first i went for driving right?10am-12pm. but poor mandy, she had nothing to do for the first 2hrs without me...after when i got back, we had like a mini-lunch and we were deciding whether to watch a movie or hang out with out cuzzies...mena and shobi...

so yea, we had like a lunch at subway,bishan..and then we tried calling them, but to no avail, they were caught somewhere, up town..haiz....so we just walked around..looking at shoes,movie listings for Ironman( could you believe it??! they wanted to watch Hottie and Nottie...lame lar)...

but surprisingly, we managed to spend enough time before heading home to a well-elertrical house.....heehee...so we had dinner w mum and i studied for Med MicroB.

if not for the hanging out at Bishan J8, i could have seriously fainted on the side of the road coz of mjr boredom...

thank goodness, i had my sister w me:)0<3

MADNESS!!

2008-05-05T18:36:00.000-07:00

background muse: Headlight Disco- Click Five:)) nice song right??should listen to it!!

last night:

i got a msn nudge by a good classmate, Razi
Razi: hey tom got Lab. bring lab coat
audrey:huh? really? i tot Lab Man no lab??!
Razi: got in the annoucements, so bring lab coat. Tell Hafidz also.
audrey: yea thanks man...

so i smsed monkey and told him the good news!

so sad, dad's cannot celebrate his bday w us....Happy Birthday Dad!!<3 sorrie i came home late last night..
**thanks Gary for the lift home and RANDY-dey for the company back home:))

this morning:

so when i woke up, with the ringing sound of my mum's alarm clock, and heard a tick on my phone...it was monkey(Hafidz)- saying thanks for the news and that he didn't really study for Proteomics UT...OMGosh there's UT today!!need to study later!!haiz...madness man!

got on the bus and happen to bump into karmani...it was nice seeing a familiar face after awhile; hope she's doing good...it sounds that she's ok..hope everyone( aunty kani, shalini, darshie and uncle....)are fine and well:))?....so we chatted and then we had to go our separate ways( she's in IJC)...got off and decided to walk( thanks archana for the chatting, it was nice toking to u:)...decided to grab breakfast n then tot of getting being nice to monkey...in the midst....

audrey: where r u now?
Monkey:i m lost in some jungle
audrey: no seriously
Monkey:yeah seriously, i m tru e concrete jungle of singapore in some snake mobile that just stops at some hill that cough(get it??)..

seriously, only monkeys have so much energy to think of such things EARLY in the morning...

so bought breakfast and went up to class..ahahahah...

well the good news is that mum's probably gonna cook good food today..nice....haiz...more FYP later n there's driving tom....

will continue part 2.

speechless conversation.

another day.....in life...

2008-05-01T01:15:00.000-07:00

background muse: All I Need is You-planetshakers(King of Majesty Album)

so it's another day for me in paradise...a well-needed holiday! (free)Labour Day! so most (usually private sector and some civil servants) are off today..that means mum and dad too...

the night before!:

so we had FYP-lab session right? everyone came down.hahaa it was like having a secret gathering coz nearly have the session was done in the dark( due to the fluorescent in the slides)...haiz...and then the boys had to clear the incubator coz we passaged alot of cells. it was coming close to about 80 plus...hahah randy and chris so nutty about it that they decided to "kill" nearly half of them.

note to self: we needed at least 48 flask for further experiments.

chris counted that we should have more than enough and decided to flush nearly half the incubator until he recounted and found out we were 5 flask short!!

randy: hey guys, i think we....
audrey: what??
chris: i don't think we have enough of cells
audrey: huh? i tot u said we have excess?
randy: chris just counted. and we only have 43!
audrey: OMGosh. we need 48!! save the cells( con-currently, i wasn't really thinking...)
randy: how to save already-bleached cells.??!!.*lol*
chris: *lol*
bridget: then have to subculture lar!(smart bridget!)

so ok, i wasn't thinking..hahahah but yea..so the chris had to subculture 1:4, now as they were subculturing and going nuts bleaching the rest, we, girls had to *squint* our eyeballs out, trying to carefully take out the cover slips out of the plate.And mind you, it sure wasn't easy...i nearly became a squintologist(if ever, was there such a word!), if not for the break....hahahah....and that's not the best part...if not for the squinting, we had to work in the dark a few minutes later, thanks to the fluorescent-antibody....and after that, "there was no light"(imagine that line, with a BOOMING! voice)

alright...so randy had to leave for the (tatatata-shows u the hand)movie. aka. IronMan. Chris had to leave for a alr-booked restaurant dinner.

that leaves me, bridget and niina. and of course, the lovable Chowdhury.

so we decided to take some pictures of the cells. and what a wacky idea that was...chowdhury and the rest of us, nearly went bonkers! if not, for some saving grace-laughter here and there...u should have seen us. imagine, 4 people trying to capture micro-cells in the excitement of colour!hahahahah...there were times, we forgot to turn the micrscope or turn on the ignition( for Fluorescence) or even use the mouse?!(couldn't find one..so had to use mine..haiz..)

after the fateful discoveries, we packed up and decided to have dinner outside. it was about 8plus. We(Bridget n I. Niina had a date) followed chowdhury to the office....shocked to see his "organised" pod. haiz...So chowdhury had to do some grading( he said, it'd only take him 30mins...but....)so we talked to Dr Niipa(wife) for awhile...thinking to order, we decided not to and wait for Chowdhury to fin grading.

.......... 10 mins.........20mins............45mins...........almost 1hr.....FINALLY! we left the pod and headed to causeway point for dinner at Macs....hahahahah

sorrie no pics, so can't show how much rubbish and lame things we were talking...and the various ingenious sparks of theories provided by, of course, Chowdhury himself....

back to present

now, back to present. trying to do notes for Lab Man.what is there to do?? Jus read 6P lor and hope for the best!!...

watched Om Shanti Om!..nice man!!maybe i'll go for Ranging later...hmmm

p.s thanks chowdhury and Dr Niipa for the Mac's Dinner. Hope u both had as much fun as we had:))

turn around

2008-04-27T07:35:00.000-07:00

i think i am really glad that i am just me and nobody else...sometimes, i feel as if i have to be a whole different person when i am w someone/a particular grp of people.....and that kinda sucks...coz if i can't be me, i tend to be grumpy or quiet the next day... so then, i turn-around and show pple the real AUDREY. and i think they might like her better than some "faker" as some pple might call it...

but most of the time, the REAL audrey comes out and like being around pple she loves and care...

****

i think mom's not feeling too good( phys/emotional)...been acting real weird today..i think coz Dad's not back yet and she misses him...awwww...hahaha how cute is that...but her mood swings are kinda creeping me and mandy out..i mean like we don't know what she thinks and how she'd react to certain actions...-pause- head spinning all of a sudden- back again-....so as i was saying..yea, but nevertheless, just gonna continue praying for them-

hey, i think as daughters(or sons), we should never take our parents happiness and marriage for granted....i mean they can be happy one day and the next minute- choy!touch woood...- filling for custody the next...

dear Lord, i pray for mum's and dad's happiness that they'll remain true and loving to each other, and whatever differences or arguments they(might) have Lord, u take control Lord, take control and put them in a right place. Sanctify and cover their marriage with the Precious Blood of Jesus that nothing can separate them of your love and the love for each other....amen.
***

i was just talking to agf of mine, of how glad i am that i am still single. hahahha i know, in the "now" society, most pple of my age grp have had already more than 5 BFs.let me admit to some. i don't think i am very good/lucky in this department...i have friends, who have guys falling head over heels for them...and i am stuck in the grut with just staring at their fortune...hahha but no no, i am not at any discontentment. i am happy and content w the way i am and who i am with( or without)....i am free to do what i want, n viva life to the fullest...with nothing to hold me back(prob except family...heeheee)...

to those of you single ladies,

be glad and merry. you have the best gift anyone can give to themselves. Freedom and independence. that all you'll ever need is God.

nut bag

2008-04-24T23:36:00.000-07:00

OMGosh..during the day's meeting, my class mates were watching Jacka** 1. i have never seen men( sick-in-e-head) who would do stupid things..on camera and get paid for it...i was at e "nearly vomited" stage countless times..their stunts were horrible and stupid...i mean- come on!!. do something productive can...like there's this guy( and yes, He's Ang-moh)goes around Tokyo, Japan, doing a striptease for unsuspected passer-bys....of course there's more to come..which i will not divulge into....

yucks!

what's e world coming to??

strand falling out

2008-04-23T08:34:00.000-07:00

I am so afraid that i might go into an asylum if I don't get my act together...school's been rather hectic and tiring, with FYP and driving....i don't really time for myself or family(frens too....)...and then i'm starting to eat at irregular times; breakfast for lunch, lunch for dinner, dinner for breakfast...at this rate, i sound more like a pregnant woman( n NO, i am not!!)

but i mean, i really can't wait to get this over and done with....as much as i wanna enjoy this time....i would really appreciate it, if i got some time alone w MYSELF and pple i care abt.....i think by the end of this semester, i may be brain-juice dry!!seriously...i am also lacking in sleep, coz i keep thinking abt school and stuff, that i tend "snorezzzz" in class....( probably that's why i don't get asked out...heheheheh)

anyways, i just need your prayers guys+gals...
pray for those final year students, whom you know...
1. pray for strength and constant wisdom
2. pray for mental saneness, that we can maintain our brains even after the year
3. Pray for assurance and joy, so that Life won't be such a "hassle"

xoxo

Podcast

2008-04-14T18:35:00.000-07:00

when i was in Australia, in mama and mae's house, they had the ACC- Australian Christian Channel...yeah i know..cool right??they have a channel dedicated just for this purpose....it's not about sermons and services...they have like concert showcases and even special sermons...

so i was there one day, and there was this guy called Joel Osteen...and he so happened to have audio/video podcast of his sermons and other church activites( I think)....when i heard the GREAT!News, i was like cool, maybe i can go and check him out....so i did- turned on my iTunes and went to the podcast directory and typed his name.

And there it was. i subscribe to his weekly podcast, so my iTunes will automatically download his sermon series.....i know this may sound complacent or lazy, but being in the final yr of my "college", i don't really have the time to open the bible now &then (although after listening to him, i think WILL make time), so i listen to his podcast....and surprisingly, on the first day, i was renewed. His sermon really spoke to me. It was as if God was speaking to me through Joel. That particular Sermon really hit me on the spot...

so girls and guys, i encourage you to listen to his podcast. it may not be the same reason i downloaded it...but if u're looking for "appetite" for God's word , listen to it.

xoxo.

OMGosh!

2008-04-09T06:24:00.000-07:00

just looking at all the Universities that i may not be able to attend is scary man!! ah!!! wack!!!

it's ok...

i am going to let God's faith run through me and believe that whatever i set out to do prospers!

Sing a Love Song

2008-04-07T18:57:00.000-07:00

i was just listening to Lizzie's "this is my song..."...it's a beautiful compilation of feelings and future in one song....it truly just gives me hope and makes me wanna sing a new!love song to God...

I don't have many words to use,

I don't have much to give,

I don't have beauty

But you made me perfect in your eyes

Whole, loved.

In your hugging arms,

I don't need to pretend, cause all I am,

I am in You

Just like a daughter running after her Father

With open arms,

You lift me

I thank you, God

For all the wonders you have bestowed upon me

That i can clap, walk, sing your praises

You are everlasting, my friend

Never leaving my side..

I am walking my future with You

With You and no one else

When you hold my hand, walk with me,

I know that nothing can separate

Me from You.

I love you

Australia here i come!

2008-03-06T18:44:00.000-08:00

well it's another 12 hrs before i leave the great DOWN-UNDER...it's gonna be awesome...hahahha...well gonna miss all my peeps...see u soon k:))muacks...

for my family down under, woooohoooo...can't wait to see of all u:)))

xoxo

It's been awhile.....

2008-02-25T07:02:00.000-08:00

it's been awhile....definitely.....

and alot has happened...duh?!... i honestly, think, my blog is a journal of my thoughts and happenings in my life and NOT a gossip channel...hahahha(well sometimes, it is, when i am in "grandma"mode)

so anyways...i've got great news... i finally met my cousins from my javanese heritage. after 19 years( and more for mum...), i finally got to meet all of my mum's childhood-quirky stories...hahaha it was really amazing. i've always told my parents that if i was good, could i meet my javanese side of the family??although, i know it was kinda impossible( not anymore!!) to do so....

and now, i have more than 50 family members on "this" side of my family...

here's a pic...
now, part of the zonkers....more to come.

the first time, i met Abang Sanni, i thought he was my mum colleague and when she said he her nephew, i was confused and surprised....first, your nephew? and if he's your nephew, he's my cousin...n he's old...hahahah( no offense okay abang...lurvess)...i think it was the best, most lovely, valentine's day present God could ever give my family. it was really showing His great amore and grace.

eversince that day, my family n i have just been blessed with meeting more of them...

i really thank God for this opportunity. my mother and i have been praying for times like this....and there were times that i would think i would never get to meet them..but Jesus, you're really awesome. You show how great you are when you want to; we've just gotta trust you and place our all in You. Amen to that.

what do I mean?

2008-02-05T01:56:00.000-08:00

What Audrey Means

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.
You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.
People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

FAILED. it's ok:))

2008-02-05T01:32:00.000-08:00

let me quote a famous man...."when can i own you?".....

yea so today's the D-day. as you can see( or read), i failed. but it's okay:))

IMMEDIATE FAILURE: MOUNT KERB at Crank Course. Require Maneouvre Reverse(10pt)..

Earliest Date of Renew: don't know??

I have learnt something. Win or Lose,I'll still praise Him. it's according to His grace and will, that i shall pass the next one- which I know,I WILL.

the route wasn't that difficult. i could handle it......i was just bummed out when my back wheel hit the kerb....considered an immediate failure....so let's hope for the best next time.

i have been receiving consolation from nearly everyone. THANKS!! for being so understanding. I'm sorry Mum and Dad, thought today would be a good day...Guess not:( but we shall continue to give thanks k:))

lurrvvveessss

i am just too....

2008-01-31T16:27:00.000-08:00

u know somethings are better left unsaid...but when it's the matter of the heart and mind, i think one should have the initiative to say what's going on!!!

well don't worry, my peeps, it definitely aien't about me....i just what i am trying to say is that if u really have something to say, JUST SAY IT.

i mean how bad can it be?

Things I am grateful for....

2008-01-24T16:12:00.000-08:00

i've realised that in this new year, we should be grateful for things that we are about to receive and going to receive....so let's thank God for all His goodness and faithfulness for all that He has done.

I am grateful....

1. I am alive and well. Healthy.

2. I have the best things in the world....my baby(video iPod)..guitar...my future driving license...hahahah...

3. I have the best people who care for me and love me dearly....mum, dad, mandy,my cuzzies, ruth, yy, eliz,rach koh, psf cg, marshies cg, TNG peeps like jowell, sam,vicky,rach tan,vania,val,X-synth peeps like james, george, glenn, eunice, elena, JC, yusof, Aidi, Zaki....my CC peeps like Estella, Jaq, WanTing,Irene,Luke,Raymond,Maggie..

4. for the new class i am in-W54H. we've definitely grown closer since Lester broke my glass.....

5. for people who still remember me- E36A,W14B...hahahha

6.for the subjects that i am taking and going to take...continue to pray for Proteomic, Genomics, Med MicroB, Structural Bio....that I'll do well. Honour God first...

7.I am grateful for the fact that even when i am down or grumpy(yes, mum...i know i can be), there's always someone there to cheer me up(thanks Dad:))

8.that i can travel to places with my family...for all the trips and places God has send us to and allowed us to have some family time...Thank you Lord:))and for the people we've met along the way.....hey mae and mamma,we're coming down sooon:)

9.Thanks for my LAPTOP(btw, his name is Ace.hahahha) although there have been times where you've broken down or had some screw ups....By God's Grace, you always seem to be repaired on time....hahahha

10. for the teachers/Facilitators that have been in our classes...guiding us for each lesson...in hope that we'll get the answer and do well for UT...hahahah...Guozhen, SiewPei,HuiJing,YanChin,Serene,MsWee,YokFong..thanks Ladies!

am i.....

2008-01-13T05:40:00.000-08:00

u know the new tee shirt by TP's open house....

"i am...."

yea, fill in the blanks...it's pretty innovative and somewhat provocative.

what are you?

what are we??

i was just having a midnight conversation with my baby sis when i realised that her life was more exciting than mine( can ever be)..although she's 3yrs my junior, she seemed to have alot going on with hers...school,CCA, homework, projects and even admirers(she's a def hottie heartbreaker....heehee)

then i began to recite what i had to look for in my week/s of school. it was the same thing over again, with little or no excitement. i mean there were times i had no time for myself, let alone, for anyone else....

is it wrong for me to want to be swept off my feet, even if it's just a momentary feeling of peace and serenity? i mean, amanda has that....why can't i?but i guess, i am just holding onto that hope and the list that has kept me somehow pleased with the choices i have made....

so i guess living with those choices is one made for the future....

THANKS GUYS(&GALS)

2008-01-06T16:18:00.000-08:00

well hello there..it's truly been a hectic version of the "Christmas with the Kranks" starring mua, and family....the whole entire december has been so packed that i nearly forgot to get presents for people i love( don't worry, got them in time..heehee)...

first there was Amanda's birthday to plan and execute.it was majorly hectic coz the house was under "minor" renovation. even on her birthday, the house was still dust filled! so i wanna thank Jowell..thanks dear for helping spread the "surprise" news to everyone-who's anyone in amanda's life xoxo......u were my lifesaver!:))..thanks to barry and yin yee, who helped me pick the present for the birthday girl(yy,it was crazzee). and thanks to sam, cleo, hanya, vic, karin, jodie, joyce, trina, joseph,abel, prathap and dylan..thanks for making it that day..i think it really meant alot to her...

then came the BIGGER EVENT. christmas. i think i nearly could have fainted on christmas day, if not for my mum. we were cooking from 3am till like 8am or so. woah!! and the best part(sad) was that we couldn't stay awake during service. thinking that we could go home and snooze abit, dad and his friends came home early and we had to start service(food). we didn't really catch a breather till like maybe 9pm.woah....and then this ran till the 28thDec. thanks to all who came. W54H, X-synth, E36A.....and the pressssies were awesome. thanks guys

here are some pics:))

Happy Birthday Attae

Merry Christmas

at new year's Luncheon w mum&dad

the BIGGEST EVENT was of course, new years(coz the next day= MY BIRTHDAY!!). we had a sleepover on New Year's eve. Thanks to Ruth, Cleo and Sam for making the sleepover fun with twister and bop it....hahahhaa it was really fun to see "gymnast" cleo and "tennis" sam fight it over twister.hahahha.....and the Signs(movie) was indeed a nice thriller.

well my bday was the most relaxed day of all. i couldn't b bothered with major surprises, let alone answer any midnight calls. i just went zzzzz the whole night. woah and it was the best ever. Thanks Mum and Mandy for waking me up at 6.40am to hand me the best present of all.. when they handed me the present, a shoe box was unwrapped. so i tot i got new shoes/pumps/heels...but instead it was empty. so i scurried the box further and found another smaller box and when i opened it, low-and-behold, an Apple iPod Video appeared. Now, being woken up early and still sleepy, my reaction was delayed( and yes, i did say thanks). it wasn't till 9am that i realised what i got....went swimming w my gf-Eunice. thanks for the swim dear. U RAWK...even in that bikini, u were so hot in....went to pick mandy up and met yy for lunch..thanks BFF for the thai food.

happy birthday to me:))

at starbucks:) (NY08)

later that night, it was even funnnier and interesting. my whole/extended family brought me to Changi Airport Fish n Co. now, before all this, we've had an experience with Fish n Co- yy bring back any memories???.....well so they had this "sabo" birthday girl event. they made me stand on a chair and i had to blow out my candles for the "high" rise chair.......Thanks Dad for blowing it from below...hahahha the food there was awesome...

still happy birthday to me:)

my very own SIA girl.... they made me do it

to all those who sent me smses and called me, i thank U from the bottom of my heart. it really meant alot to me.

xoxo

audrey

it's TRULY been some time...

2007-11-21T20:02:00.001-08:00

it's truly been sometime since i truly last blogged. woah

i am so tired from last night's partying...surprised??hahah no no, i am still the same old-goody-too-shoes audrey that everyone has grown to love( or not)...hahahah. just that i was out late last night, hosting a great event for a secondary school.it was really good...will upload the pics when i get them asap:))hahah

the event was held at Bukit Batok CSC. the club was gorgeous, and the ballroom was really one of a kind. woah!it was grand, even better than my prom's location...geeeheee..no offence.anyways, getting back. so it was just Eunice and I-hosting the event. the crowd was tough at first....i mean, i bet they were so excited looking all glammed up and all, most of them were as usual- cam-whoring( a fav past time of all-now-teens)....but i guess they decided to loosen up after the magic show that Matthew(from Magic IG in RP) did. **you show really see his card tricks..they're REALLY mind blowing**hahaha..and the games...muahahhaha as usual Eunice and her cheeky antics...making all those girls and boys perform for her( okok, i too had some fun..with those antics)....

so what's a prom without a dancefloor,right???

--now, i know this might sound pathetic to a certain extent. but get this, i never had a dancefloor at my prom.i am serious. NO DANCEFLOOR. it was all dinner, crowning of Ms Cambridge and more cam-whoring- and that was it!?!!i was home by 11pm.hahahha pathetic(to certain extent coz i still had lasting memories that night..it was wonderful while it lasted...thanks girlfriends so much!!muacks*).....--

so it was last night, after being the host, Audrey the DJ came out....she "spun" records from Good Charlotte to Akon's Smack That!yeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!hahahhah... so Eunice and i dance till the evening was over past our usual bed time..before heading back....it was some-rock-hard-ass shacking-dance moves!!hahahha

SPECIAL THANKS TO:
~ Zhong Kai and Company for letting us host the evening and the dancefloor later on...the show was practically ours-the whole night...wooho

~ the Principal and teachers(of school) who appreciated our art form

and most to...

Love to Eunice, my partner-in-crime for creating the script and letting me have so much fun and dancing with you !!!Love yea babe!!!

Hari Raya2

2007-10-31T22:31:00.000-07:00

welcome to Shazzie's....yummmy food galore!

just us pwreetty girls!!

just me and randy!

thurgah and Shaz..sharing a moment

Hari Raya!!

2007-10-31T22:12:00.000-07:00

what do i do with my life?

2007-10-24T04:17:00.000-07:00

You know I have just come realise something.

it might seem like it but we are all running from something. We are.

I mean seriously, think about it. We purposely miss a meeting coz we dread the day or keep ourselves super busy(like me) because we're avoiding our desires or even someone.

think about it.

i sure have.

this is soooo me!!!!

2007-10-09T00:43:00.000-07:00

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Busy

While a relationship sounds nice, you're strapped for time
Whether you're legitimately busy or just making excuses...
... You don't give men enough of your time.
As nice as "instant love" would be, there's just no such thing.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

i've got to stop watching romantic comedy movies

2007-10-07T07:45:00.000-07:00

I have to really stop watching all these romantic/comedy shows...it's too difficult....too harsh...i mean coz u'll be wondering if there's ever gonna be a time where it'll happen to you. will it? of course, it won't. it's fiction.

but we can imagine. live in a pretense, can't we?

i mean, i have always wondered what it'd be like to have someone beside you; everything i wanted in a guy. all of my list fulfilled. a wise friend once told me( Stonker) that God is moulding my One out there.he isn't ready yet for me to stumble upon. i guess so. but the wait can be tiring, both mentally and emotionally.

i have made so many mistakes by trying my best to find that One. i have met all sorts of guys but none could ever meet up to the expectations of the list. they were always falling short of the glory( of the list). some people say that it's bogus but i beg to differ. i know there is. and even if there isn't, i am glad that i didn't waste my heart for anyone else.

that's where the romantic movies comes in.it always seem to filter my mind that i can have the fiction live, if i just "stumble" upon it. but who in the real world, does?? who can wait 2 years for a person to love her/him back? i don't think anyone can wait that long for me( or i'd let anyone do so)

i'd guess i'd have to win the bet, yin yee . coz 10 years is a very short but looong time ahead and i don't think anyone in my world so far, can meet up to the list. i am not willing to compromise my list for anything in the world.

so pay up yin. $100.

i win.

man,,, filled w sleep?

2007-09-26T22:40:00.000-07:00

it's been weeks, before i can get a full set of sleep. i am either stunned by some event, or either a driving lesson. i am so tired. honestly.

i can't find a moment which i can say; let' do this or let's do that. i am so deprived and tired. i really wanna clean my cupboard but i just can't bring myself to it. i don't know if it's mind over matter...or rather mind over body???..it's as if my mind can't control my feet to walk faster.
they have a mind of their own...

and there's the fact where i can't stand the little voice in my head...it's annoying. ah!!

well i gtg find answers to why it's happening.

p.s. never sleep in class.

what a day

2007-09-11T08:01:00.000-07:00

haiz...i am looking so dead-ed. i can hardly believe that 8 mths has passed. woah...and soon later...i am gonna be a year older!!ah!!!

time really flies!!

well today's lessons was really crazy. i just lost 2 hrs of lesson, and soon to be loosing my voice...man i really have to start reading about child's psychology. i mean it's like, i really wanna know what kids think inside their little-something cunning- minds...heeheee.. i guess there were time i was like that...but i don't remember being super-hyper...i think they have too much SUGAR in their diet...siansz.....i don't know what i'd do.

any ideas?? anyone??!!

hey peeps...i am back!!! a loooong trip.....

2007-09-05T20:03:00.001-07:00

here are some clips from Samui Isl.(Thailand)

cam-whoring on e plane((:

my bed for the next 4 nights~

this is what i see every morning from my balcony( hotel room)
a walk to remember(down from the room....)..the beach!!
..hey wait for me, guys!!

okay get ready for the shocker....

my new hair-style....

ah!!!-->shocker!!!

yeaps, i braided my hair..heehee

next....

the isl. we went snorkeling to!!

what a beauty

looking out to sea...
getting ready for the dive!!!

oooh lalalaa....Rick's Angels..Ahoy~

more thai-good food!!

another great view

my first and last cocktail....

ever-"driven" a four-wheel drive???

well i have>>

my very own four-leg drive!
so has amanda!

Family of Quad-Bikers!!

most romantic couple i know...Love yea, Mum and Dad
having a great dinner w a great view

another sight at the hotel...

me and mum

alright....so heading home now

at the runway...

see y'all when we get back...cherios

what a weekend~

2007-08-27T00:06:00.000-07:00

wow, what a wondrous weekend that started from Fri morning and ended sun morning. woah!

it was so long, in fact a slight tingsy bit, too long for my taste. but nevertheless, something of a much needed outing with friends and family. met my friends from just over the causeway.

it all began with the last day of my school semester. Thurs night. I met marvin. oh i how i've missed him so much, and how much he has grown. so Big; he can even say big words like Rubbish-Throw away and even Don't Friend You. i mean...how Cute is that?!!!!so cute, right??

and there's tashvin. oh it's been 6mths since i've met him. He's teething, my appu's teething. now wonder he cries alot. hahaha...hahaha well he cries whenever anyone,other than mum, dad, nani, grams and masi, carries him. hahaha..he's so peaceful when he sleeps.hahha.

i got to spend time with the family on Fri-the whole day- went swimming w tashvin and marvin, and got to spend some time with Navin aka Bhaya(or however you spell it lar), the 15-year old cute kid.ahahha...and guess what-he's never been on a double decker bus before. cute, eh?!!

and so, i brought him around town in bus and the NEL and MRT. can you believe it, like if u miss one bus over in malaysia, u'll have to wait like an hour. omg, i think if i'd have to wait that long, i'll just die...i think we all will!ah!!!

well it was great weekend, until my sis and i had food poisoning on sun morning. bad, i wanted to so bad to go and see them the last time. really connected with the family. really.with masi, navin and everybody else. sians.

gonna miss'em. love them all...come back soon:))

will upload the pics soon;))

and....

another thing, during the weekend,

i got a rating of 7.5 out of 10..

wad a weekend:)

**( on 1 being ugly, 10 being hot)

open my eyes

2007-08-19T18:42:00.000-07:00

woah, i am honestly, telling you..i can hardly open my eyes. i think the PANDA-eyes are so back....thanks to doing mandy's Chemistry notes so that she could sleep earlier for her maths paper today. sianz. tired. never felt this way. nearly wanted to NOT come to school.

But since when have i ever skipped school, right???

anyway, i don't know. i mean like nearly everywhere i go/turn, i'd see couples doing this and that...even at a concert...grinding or whatever u'd call it..sianz...it was annoying..or maybe coz i also wanted it( but i know i can't). i mean, i love my couple friends. they're the best. but to see couples-secular-outside doing erm 2nd bases and beyond was kinda gnarling on me and not in a good way i might add...

but last night was the best. i mean, i know i have been not talking to you, God. and it's been really disturbing me and making me feel inadequate coz only U can make me whole. You complete me, Lord. and i thank you. as i was singing, YOUR LOVE MAKES ME SING, i just had to the urge to have a DEEPER WORSHIP with Him. and it was really Great. no word, just music and my heart and all i have, stretched forward, placed before the altar. it couldn't be any better than that. i wrote a song, as u'd guess it, Deeper Worship-still in the works. But now , i know i am not alone and He opened the eyes of my heart again. and i don't it ever to close.....

well anyways, someone read an earlier post- which i wrote when i was still, let's say slightly on the low side of my life. so i don't know. maybe i was not-sane or maybe i just wanted to feel loved again, after what amanda'd say- "....betrayed you..."happened.

well i guess i am just like any girl, wanting to be pursued and searched for...but i guess it'll have to wait...

i know i'd still have You...

A Charmed Lifestyle`

2007-08-16T21:34:00.000-07:00

Super-stylin!

2007-08-16T21:28:00.001-07:00

what we'd do for each other..anything(she brought me to MOS!)
look we met-Choy:))
more us
where's Pri & Lizzie???*sob*...missing yea!

24

2007-08-14T23:26:00.000-07:00

RULES:

1. Put your music player on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. Put the last title of the song as the subject.

4. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!!!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY", YOU SAY ?
Relax, take it easy- Mika..(hahah)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
L O V E- Michael Buble (…yeap me..lovable!!)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Hips don’t lie-Shakira…( I suppose that means, must be a good dancer..hips don’t lie, baby!!)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
it’s not over-Daughtry (the song keeps going “Blown away..blown away”.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Love came down-Lenny Leblanc ( more Love to come??)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Undignified – Chris Tomlin ( hilariously true..so be undignified in Life)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Any boy-Jesse Macartney ( ok I get it..they still think of me as the tom-boy..haiz))

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Closer Still-Wilshire

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
My Answer is You-Brian Littrell (anyone wanna try and guess??.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIES?
IF you want me to- Ginny Owens ( want me to what???)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Phil of the Future-Disney Tracks( OMG…THIS IS REALLY REALLY FUNNY!!)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Something Else-Good Charlotte( hmmmp? What shall I be?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Your Glory- Planetshakers( must be God-send?)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Breaking Free- HSM soundtrack ( we’re soaring..flying..there’s not a star in heaven…)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Everlasting Love – Jamie Cullum (SWEET!)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
It is You- NewsBoys (Halleujah!)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Photograph-Jamie Cullum (wow,..passion re-flamed)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Trouble- Elliot Yamin (oooh..yeaps..troubbble…)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Breakdown –Jack Johnson (hey!…don’t we need to breakdown??)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
24-Switchfoot ( well I guess it’s the time I think abt them??)

man...never done this before....hmmm...

6 weird things about myself

2007-08-06T18:56:00.000-07:00

well i was challenged by a very good fren( thanks, James..hmph)

these are the rules:
Each player starts off the game by giving 6 weird things about themselves.People who get "tagged" at the bottom of the post, would need to write [in a blog of their own] 6 weird things about themselves as well as stating the rules clearly.

well here goes....

* i would like to watch the sunset and sunrise with someone special(romantic aura) at either sentosa or Mt Faber.

* i can use my tongue to touch my nose

*i love to stand out and be myself ( does this count??)

*i love testing MY limit. i would so love to go bungee-jumping, down a river- like those in N.Zealand. AWESOME!!

*i have won many burping contest ( with my DAD)

* some say that i may look like a girl...but i have the strength of a guy...arm wrestling anyone???

*( just in case the 3rd doesn't count)...my laughter can be heard from the ladies to the any classroom J-K.

TAG, you're it!
- Edwin Philips
- Aidi
-Christina Renae
-Eliz
-Charlene ooi
- Randy!!!
-Aizat!

back together again??

2007-08-06T07:46:00.001-07:00

is it for real??

husband and wife back together again??how interestingly ODD.

i never expected for the wife to feel again for the husband; maybe he did something right or something charming to steal or set her heart.

but i think she'd have to choose, coz he's has chosen a life of "celibacy". something which common man, don't usually take.

then again, he's no ordinary guy,

is he?

Morning Love

2007-07-30T19:10:00.000-07:00

i was just enoying the ride to school, although it was just to the bus stop, i began to realize how much i needed God. everything that i touch, have-in-possession are all His.

it's been a long while since i have talked to God. i know there's no such thing as NO TIME but really, i am looking for a moment, ALONE, with God. people suggest that i wake up early and spend time with Him. -how much earlier do you want me up???? 5.30am???

A moment with God is like true heaven. and i can't seem to concentrate my thoughts/moments when i try to. it's like when i think about God, it'll lead to something else. i truly need discipline.

i am just so annoyed w myself.

God, break me into a time with You. Just you.

I want some Morning Love.

.on 'zer move

2007-07-24T05:29:00.001-07:00

She’s finally on the move

Riding the wind , into the sunset

With one hand

Held the reins

The other

Life strand.

Without a word, she harps a tune of hope

Gleaming as she rides

Ronald into the sunset boulevard

Of unwished sights

well people i'll be heading to the A&E to see what happens...

wish me luck(:

.on

2007-07-24T05:29:00.000-07:00

She’s finally on the move

Riding the wind , into the sunset

With one hand

Held the reins

The other

Life strand.

Without a word, she harps a tune of hope

Gleaming as she rides

Ronald into the sunset boulevard

Of unwished sights

entitlement

2007-07-16T23:26:00.000-07:00

I guess it’s time for Audrey to start really growing up. she’s been living the past for too long that she’s afraid to make mistakes; always preparing and precautionary. Well I guess people would want a different person to greet them every morning. they might get..they might not…

I am just tired of people always tell me that I have to be someone that everyone is like. Hey, I am in my own world and I am living it. Sometimes, I just wanna stuff it into their faces. I mean, it’s my life. No one tells me what to do with( except mum and dad and some people, whose opinion I hold in high regards to). So if you have comments with the way I run my life, I suggest it you to keep it to yourself, coz I am SERIOUSLY not interested. And if you think getting to my close friends or even my lil-piglet first, will get u into my good books, u’ve got to be kidding me?!!! I mean, what’s your deal man?!. I am really opinionated. I seriously am opinionated. I suggest u get urself prepared. This Old and New Audrey isn’t gonna change for any Tom, Dick or Harry. You’d better be someone important in my life to tell me how you feel abt me( and things that affect me)

The new Audrey will not dwell on the past but use the past and move on in the future. There’s always another opportunity in life, if u know where to look.

I just wanna thank those who’ve made an IMPACT in my life..changed it for the better.

Mum- always love u; ookok..i will be less chor-lor

Dad- always sporting me there; and being my pillar of masculinity

Mandy- my fashionista…although I like the way I dress tooJ

Yin Yee- my bff. Always surprising me with weirdest news..haha..love u!

Ruth- my emotional and spiritual accountant. Thanks for always keeping me on His path

Eliz- missing yea gurl. Thanks for always encouraging me to shine for God and giving me reasons tooJ

Pri- where are u girl?? Thanks for support in tamil

Rachel Koh- thanks for being my support where I have nowhere to turn to…always my spiritual help sent by God

James, Elena, June, JC, Aidi, Edwin, George, Eunice, Zaki- thanks for always supporting me in school and being my sports…hahaha a school life w u guys, is so much more fun …never seem to be a boring day!

something i do out of boredom.......

2007-07-11T04:10:00.000-07:00

a life seen in a bubble of rain....

2007-07-11T04:03:00.000-07:00

I was just looking through my photos when I came across this….

Title: life seen in a bubble of rain
It was taken during my holidays when it was raining at my place. We just bought the a NEW Olympus camera-labeled :Mine-by Mum- wanted to check out the macro functions on it- results as seen aboveJ

As you look closer into the picture, you’d see reflections of the outside, buildings, trees, and even the road below..it also shows an upside-down of the[my]reality.

what keeps me up....

2007-07-10T02:05:00.000-07:00

I am so tired for falling at everything…I don’t know if I will ever be good enough to succeeded my own expectations….i just wanna erase myself..either to start over OR never ever to begin with…

I am just too tired to even finish this post…..

a day out wiht an OLD friend.

2007-07-04T20:51:00.000-07:00

So yesterday, it was just nice way of spending w someone whom u’ve not seen in awhile. It was just really sweet of him. Someone paying for nearly everything..*ok ok he paid for it all […although mandy wasn’t there* she was pretty upset abt that..sorrie piglet]

So went to cartel and then Haagen Daz, where I ate something that I have not eaten in a long time- Rum N Raisin!...yaya!!!...just walking around J8..saw a lot of people..James, Brenda..blah blah..ahhaha had lunch w them..hahaha

If things go well, will there be a future…..

I don’t think so..

Thanks***James and gang..***for the day out

song playing now:

Fall Out Boys- Thanks for the Memories!

50 First....Thoughts

2007-07-04T17:43:00.000-07:00

50 first thoughts Message: Okay this is called 50 FIRST
REACTIONS... type what comes to your
mind first whenever you hear these 50
words. Don't think and don't go back
and change. Doesn't matter how random
just type it! Repost it for all of your
friends.

1. Beer:
NO! no alcohol for me, yet

2. Food:
haha….foood…(drooling)

3. Relationships:
so jaded. Need a new one!

4. Your CRUSH:
heheh*giggles*

5. Power Rangers:
I want to be white ranger..so loved it…when I was youngers

6. Life:
Living IT!

9. The President:
the only left

10. Yummy:
I am?? sweet…

11. Cars:
Green Chevy

12. Movie:
Transformers!!

13. Halloween:
…wish Singapore celebrated it!

15. Religion:
my Life. Christian.

16. Myspace:
don't have one

17. Fear:
wanna overcome it…

18. marriage:
???erm…too early to tell??

19. Blondes:
not all are dumb...1%

20. SLIPPERS:
Beach out!!!

21. SHOES:
need to find more…of my size.

22. Asians:
exotic..only some…

23. Pass time:
just sleep

24. One night stands:
never…hahaha.

25. Cell Phone:
necessity!

27. Smoke:
like beer. Allergic to it, actually!

28. Fantasy:
*still thinking!*

29. COLLEGE:
UCLA babyyyy

30. Highschool Life:
my past now…so wanna relieve it!

31. Pyjamas:
FBT and daddy’s jersey’s

32. stars:
my telescope

33. Fitness Center:
Gym. Treadmil in the balcony.

34. Alcohol:
Didn’t you ask in the 1st question alr??

37. Money:
want it..but don’t really need it.

38. Heartache:
exhibits humans emotions!!!!

39. Time:
Takes a lot of whiles…

40. Divorce:
never….hope so

41. Dogs:
cute…nevertheless

42. Undies:
another necessity…

43. Parents:
are the best!!!Love yea, Mum and Dad.

44. Babies:
depending whose??

45. Stripper:
hmmmm…stripe-er?

46. Blogs:
a reconciliation w past and present…and hopeful of the future.

47. News:
practice english and update yourself
so you can pretend to be smart

48. Weddings:
are sacred and beautiful..love e great food too

49. Pizza:
bleah!...too much cheezy

50. Kleenex:
bogger-wiper!

a long walk

2007-07-01T22:23:00.000-07:00

i took a long walk[ let me say again. WALK] just last Sunday. It was a good walk.

From PLMC à back home. Wow that’d be like around 3+ km.

Just some thoughts that ran across my mind when I was walking w God.

I was just learning to keep still during, with CCM going through my ears- Hillsongs United, Planetshakers..

1. I have the best solution in the whole world. That if I’d leave everything to Him, I’d be more rested. [ partly because Pastor Edmund Chan was talking abt Soul Fatigue during PIC-CL]

2. Arise, Audrey! And not be afraid to stand out; if u want to play CCM out loud, sing out loud, then just do it. [ I was singing Majesty so loud, trying to compete with the traffic along yio chu kang road. Hehe]

3. Sometimes being alone, walking w Me, isn’t all that bad. There were times during the walk that, I just wanted to take a bus/cab but I realize that I didn’t walk on my strength. It was His this whole time. I didn’t feel so tired after all.

It’s just these 3 things. It may seem mundane or simple to you. but it means a lot to me, coz I have been too busy to even think abt God. There I said it. I confess. And I also repent. To be in His holies of Holies, it’s just so amazing- that I may be not so worthy to be called His own. But I rejoice and know the fact, that I am. I am His Daughter first. His face is my face.

Mood: still confused. I am thinking of trying out something that was neglected for a long long time.

looking for another outlet

2007-06-26T07:52:00.001-07:00

i am looking to photography as a source/outlet of peace and serenity.

so i am gonna photoblog my journey- as one always says,

picture speaks a thousand words.

let the pics do the talking.

http://clickforme.multiply.com/

Morning Tag...hmph???

2007-06-25T17:39:00.001-07:00

Morning tag:

It’s a beginning of a new morning, just read Jonathan Eldredge’s book- Journey of Desire. So I guess it was rather revealing to me- coz it was talking abt Looking for the Golden Person. I was like woah~ totally.

After reading it, I realized that deep down inside, be it boy or girl, we are all looking for the GOLDEN person. The one who makes our heart flutter, the one who holds our hands when we fail. THE ONE. Where’s she or HE is this instance…

But then my desire has changed for the better . I guess. I believe that if the person comes, he comes. But now, my golden person, is God.

2007-06-24T17:38:00.000-07:00

Waves crashed over the

Sandy white beaches

Crystalline in all it’s

Purity

Now covered with seaweed

Dead logs and

Washed up sea crabs

She found out what it means

To find betrayal in the sea of friendship

Hurt, mistrust, anger

Nothing burns like

A woman scorned, as what they say

She is strong, built from within

Maybe hurt on the inside

But never shows it, never hides it

All she knows is to be herself

Both mind, soul, body

She holds her head up high in the

Midst of the waves crashing

Over her; swims to shore, and

Make it back to the land

Paradise

I guess life sometimes tend to give you lemons and take them back and gives u seaweed. What to do with seaweed? Nice, meh?

Anyway, I couldn’t be happier than how I felt when I was erm, as what people call’t, infatuated. It was a nice feeling to be desire OR to pursue the desire of one’s dream. I mean who wouldn’t want to fall or be in the sense of love, right?.

People ask me why I don’t feel hurt. Coz I am not. The happiness is overwhelming the hurt normal people would feel if such news came to their ears.

If there’s one thing I learn from the past experiences I’ve had, is that always BE PREPARED for the WORST. Sound skeptical. But it’s the truth. I have learn that to desire for something or someone is always nice, but one has to protect themselves from being hurt. I, for one, kept the pessimistic aspect( like she’s taken, he’s not interested, you’ll never get the PSP you wanted…etc) of the experience at the back of your head. However, just because you think pessimistic, it doesn’t mean that you can’t live optimistically. No, the optimism SHOULD over power your pessimism. So when such a downfall happen to you, you won’t feel as bad as one should.

I guess you won’t be so devastated. Some people call it betrayal, others rejection. Either way, I call the downfall of the up-rise in life.

So thank you all of you, who have supported this desire and helped me through this turmoil. but really I am FINE. I am really ok…instead people who care/ know me, feel sad and bothered by it.

As I have said from the beginning.

I’d rather loose a love than loose a friend.

But hitting compressed balls over 150yard line is really relieving.

Take lookJ

me just hitting off

mandy hitting off- i am getting rusty!

mandy just smiling- dad at the back

i am just relaxing.haiz.

love yea mandy!!muacks***xoxox

how can i tell u??

2007-06-21T08:39:00.000-07:00

when he came back and cleared me
of my doubts
i was gleaming from the inside

there was so much i wanted to say
but i just couldn't
my name's substitute says how much
i missed him-

There!

the cat jumped out of the bag
but no one knows about this
but me
i do miss him
i do.

but i just couldn't find the strength
from the restlessness of the night
to be that person that seemed fun
and could hold the acquaintance
of his humor longer
than she intended

how could i tell him?
was it right of me so

let the cat out of the bag

was it too early?

was she naive?

oh thoughts of these ran through her mind
like the squirrel through the moon lit sky.

unknown of the dangers the
sounds of the nights bequeath upon her frail soul.

she was truly feeling something
that left her for years
something she vowed not to feel or remember
till the right time..

the fuzzywuzzy as they'd call it

how can i tell u?

HELP SAVE THE DOLPHINS

2007-06-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

I feel as if we should do something about. i mean Dolphins are rated one of the most intelligent sea creatures of the world and should be preserved for further generations to enjoy. i mean awareness is just one part of the ways to help save dolphins. but making a stand abt these issues, is another.

so i believe if we can't do much from where we are, the least we can do is MAKE A STAND against animal injustice and inhumane actions against animals.

http://www.glumbert.com/media/dolphin

**this may be disturbing to some. i advice you to watch it with a pillow or a paper bag( just in case).

if u want to make a stand, please enter ur name in this petition, below

http://www.theoceanproject.org/actfordolphins/

mood over something and then JOY!

2007-06-20T07:33:00.000-07:00

Well today was another day of utter disappointment to myself.

I don’t know why, but I just feel so upset when I fail at something. Does that mean I am a perfectionist?

Then aren’t we are perfectionist??

I guess we all are. In some ways or another. We want the perfect relationship. the perfect SAT score. The perfect GPA. The perfect weekend. EVEN the perfect ME.

But at least I got to do something I really wanted to during the 2 week break.

Window shopping at VIVO.!!! YAY!!

me and my bff-lucy!!
hats galore??

I am missing so many people outta there.

Pri

Eliz

Kenny Ong- I am so sorrie Kor!!

Heehee…i am really starting to believe what wyn says abt distressing mentally by stressing physically. I mean I was so stressed today- thanks to Biochem UT tom!!- that I just decided to go for a SHORT run. And surprisingly, I felt rather DESTRESSED! Sadistic? But I really felt relieved that I could go and study- finally fin all my notes!! Yay!!!

Mood: sad. Gonna mood over my failed attempt to PASS Advance Theory.

now and the other day

2007-06-18T19:23:00.000-07:00

The other day:

I tried holding my breath while underwater. Sad to say I could only hold up to a minute and a half= 1.30min. sad. Wanted to make it an even number.

I don’t know. I was talking to an OLDER friend re: you know who. The best thing of all, my sis and mother are always talking abt my “love” life.

p.s. I don’t have one.

So yeaps, the day before, they asked me if this guy* has a crush on me.. I was like.. how was I suppose to know? I mean no guy has told me that he likes straight to my face. Hi Audrey, I think I like you –NOT!....like never. So yea, I am really surprised that my mother would mentioned abt stuff like this.. I would still remember, when I was younger-okay okay, I am not that old anyway!- if I’d mention a guy’s name, she’s like you better not think what I know you’re thinking.hahaha

But now, she’s like laxed abt it now, talking abt this freely. Sometimes she’d be so random and ask if I am going with so-and-so.

LOL. I think it’s really cute and funny. Maybe mummy’s realizing it’s normal to feel for someone at this age.

I decided to be anti-boyfriend for awhile. Now now, don’t come and say that, oh audrey’s taking a celibacy act. I am just laying off the dating game for awhile- until time’s right- not that I have played the game. Maybe in the past.

(mandy, it’s okay, if someone says that about you. you should say yes, but only for the time being. I am so proud of you for choosing this stand. With much younger folks loosing their virginity, I know that you’ll hold fast to the ATM)

Now:

Okay enjoy the day, as I take a gulp of Peel Fresh’s Wheat Grass & Veggie.

It's not the End.

2007-06-13T20:08:00.000-07:00

Written by Amanda Rick
Music by Audrey Rick

Mama told me that anything was possible
She believed in me
When my dreams and hopes
shattered all away
She was the one who stood by me

As Time passed by
I realised
That their love was
All I ever needed
And then I remembered what she said to me

Baby girl, don't cry
It's not the end
There' still a chance for you
If you just believe in yourself
just believe in yourself

Papa held my hand as we walked to the park
He told me that he loved me
And that made my day better
Shine brighter
He also said that I will be his little girl
Always

As Time passed by
I realised
That their love was
All I ever needed
And then I remembered what he said to me

Baby girl, don't cry
It's not the end
There' still a chance for you
If you just believe in yourself
just believe in yourself

always have hope in your heart
that way
we'll never grow apart
always have love in your heart
that way
you know that i'm here...
remember that i am here.

some things are just kept secret.period.

2007-06-10T07:18:00.000-07:00

I was just reading through this old journal of mine. you could really be lost,thanks to the "legible"handwriting. Really- this journal lasted me 2 years, from sec2-sec4. I still remembered it because it was during my very awkward moments in life- u know when you’re trying almost everything…no no.. not the drugs or alcohol. But the other stuff..like BGR blah blah…and I was reading it, looking through all the old notes..

I found myself sometimes rather contradictory. There will be times where I said one thing and then another, within a few pages?!...i guess I was naïve at that time. Didn’t how or what to feel during those “romantic” moments. I was sharing these moments w my bff-ruthie and we were really laughing our heads off. It was really hilarious…

There was one post though that really stood out

“…..if I had to choose, I would choose God. It was easy yet difficult. Easier said than done. But if it had to be done, then so be it…..i have always said I needed someone Christian in my relationships/life- but I don’t know if I will get it?. I still remembered what mummy vision- that I won’t get hitched..blah blah…then I’d remain single. Singlehood. Interesting……”

And I was thinking, at some point, it’s true. I am living the singlehood aspect of that entry, now. NOW. And Lucy looked at me with that “omg, is it really coming true??” look. And then we just laugh it off. But what if.......

I think I have really grown up. I mean I am more confident of who I am.confident of my own feelings and what i want and need in my life. i guess being 18 has def changed my perspective in life compared to a 15 or 16 year old. My future decided- not by me- but by God. Because I know I am His will. He’s the BIGGEST stand anyone has ever made for me. I know it’s hard when I see nearly all my bff together/in a relationship with the “almost” right person. It just makes me wonder whether I am really up for a life by myself.

You can; you’re never alone. I am here.

Some things are meant to be kept secrets. Period.

***for those who know, I still have e fuzzies when he calls. Hahah. and that's a secret.