How can you hate someone whom you love so dearly. I mean it's so impossible to the brink of wanting to actually yell at the top of your lungs...splurs of hurtful and mean things like" Wake up, you're not a kid anymore!" Or " When are you ever gg to change??"...okok, i know these are not "hurtful" remarks,but hey, it could get worse.......oooh, i'm just so burning up! i mean, how dare you*sneers*my blood is actually boiling....

it's definitely been awhile since i've written here.. and it's been dry-my life. U know, i'd remeber the days, where there was a chase in my life. it may not neccessarily be because of someone, but there was a drive, and momentum of things going; not so much a routine but a flow.

Now?
it's just a mundane pot. it's always half empty. right now, i'm just waiting for God to pour down His Spirit into this vast emptiness on- what i call- my life.

I just want Him. No one else.
None but Jesus.


I'm tired of all the lies, all the betrayal and all the anxiety. I'm just tired of it. I just wanna live for one person. and that's my heavenly Father. He's the only that matters. even when everyone seems to be against me or trying to pull me down, I know that He's rooting for me, and lifting me above all this mud-pit-of troubles.