the story continues
Monday, October 6, 2008 | Monday, October 06, 2008
the girl who can't be tamed....
i was having dinner with my family last night, and i didn't realised how nasty and mean i was being.though it was funny, still, i was rambling on- tekan- people here and there."....oh she's uber blur...u know there was one time...." or ".....he's abit on hearing, he can't even tell which side of the handphone is up...."..to the point,my parents were shocked, that they had to speak louder than me, just to drown
insensitive remarks on people, especially elders at the table...wow, i didn't know how much the world and all its " it's a tough world- only the tough and mean survive here"....and it just dawned to be that the movie,
above, was about how lindsay lohan's character surviving high school....
SURVIVOR!!HIGH SCHOOL....imagine, having that as a survivor location...*day dreaming*...
and so, i've realised how much i've changed. my values and believes(hopefully) have not changed, but ME- the behaviour, mannerism, ettiquttte people see, has changed. i don't know if it's for the better....or the WORSE?!but i know one thing, i m like an lioness, released from her cage, and out into the world- filled with buildings, cars and Nitendo Wiis. she's still wild at heart, really wild, but she's trying to adapt to this NEW world. she's trying to fill that void-emptiness that she's feeling....but can she truly be a "city"lion??
***
as i tried sleeping on the bus today, i couldn't stop but to think- what i am going to do after this? after my "sheltered-wacky-filled all of you" poly life?i mean for the boys, it's simple-NS lor!BUT for us girls? it's either work then study...or study.....or study and work. all these various degrees and universities to choose from, was running rapidly( author's emphasis) through my mind, that i couldn't catch a wink of sleep on the bus. it was so rapid that i couldn't even hear my iPod-playlist playing in the background.it was really like those rushing rapids....it's so loud, that you'll have to shout....i mean there's so many choices, and of them fitted with their "desired" consequences on our lives. all these for the terrifying concept called "Your FUTURE!". do you remember my ATM- abstinance till marriage...u know where i m supposed to keep my body- for the one!but looking at these results and the concept called "Your FUTURE!", i don't think i'll even get the chance to find the one( hopefully, he finds me ...hahaha)....i guess i can live with that. u know, not truly worried about what the future holds- ah!, like real audrey!....of course i am worried, i m petrified- to the point of my mere extinction...that's right, not existence. someone once told me.." if you think too much about things, your life will soon be extinct"....at first, it didn't make sense, but then, i realised that hey, if i stopped LIVING my life, i will soon be extinct.
**hey akka, i m really gg to miss you. so next time, bring Sam. hahaha we miss him!
p.s yesterday, gg talked to me. in fact, he smsed at 2am, just to "inform" me that there was lab....and then he asked me a class related question
i was having dinner with my family last night, and i didn't realised how nasty and mean i was being.though it was funny, still, i was rambling on- tekan- people here and there."....oh she's uber blur...u know there was one time...." or ".....he's abit on hearing, he can't even tell which side of the handphone is up...."..to the point,my parents were shocked, that they had to speak louder than me, just to drown insensitive remarks on people, especially elders at the table...wow, i didn't know how much the world and all its " it's a tough world- only the tough and mean survive here"....and it just dawned to be that the movie,above, was about how lindsay lohan's character surviving high school....SURVIVOR!!HIGH SCHOOL....imagine, having that as a survivor location...*day dreaming*...